Jokes

A GUY picked a bag and called one of the radio stations.Guy: Hello, I have just picked a bag with 25 million, a master card, an iPod and some particulars belonging to a one Peter.

A GUY picked a bag and called one of the radio stations.
Guy: Hello, I have just picked a bag with 25 million, a master card, an iPod and some particulars belonging to a one Peter.

Presenter: How generous of you. So are you looking for ways of returning the bag?

Guy: No, I just want to dedicate a song to him. The song is ”U SAVED ME.’’

John and Andrew

John and Andrewwere caught in Swaziland sharing a smuggled barrel of beer. They were arrested and taken to the King’s palace for questioning and judgment. John lied that Andrew smuggled it and forced him to drink the beer! Both were initially given the death sentence but, as it was a national holiday, the king decided they should be released after some lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the king said, ”It’s my first wife’s birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you two wishes before your whipping, but you cannot wish not to be whipped!”

John thought for a while then said: ”Please tie two pillows to my back before whipping and my second wish is that you flog me only twenty strokes of the whip.”

He was whipped, and luckily for him, the pillows helped to make the pain of the whip lesser.

Andrew saw this; thought for a while too, then said, ”Thank you, most royal and merciful highness for the wishes. My first wish is to receive 100 lashes with the strongest, toughest whip available.”

”If you so desire,” the king replied, with a puzzled look on his face. “And your second wish?”

Andrew replied, “Tie John to my back.”

John fainted.

 

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