Cheating is a complicated thing. It might be your fault

I have read various articles on how to keep a man or how to not let your man cheat on you but I can’t seem to find the answer I am looking for.

I have read various articles on how to keep a man or how to not let your man cheat on you but I can’t seem to find the answer I am looking for. My ex boyfriend cheated on me, I found out because someone told me and I decided to confront him and he was honest with me and told me the truth.

I was devastated and so was he because a small part of me believes he was just waiting for me to find out so he could apologise and we move on but that wasn’t what happened, I ended it. I could never be with a man who cheated on me even if it was a brief affair with the other woman. All these articles tell us women how to treat our men, do they have any truth? Did my boyfriend cheat on me because I was probably busy building my career and didnt make him dinner enough times?  Please give me some insight into the mind of men.

Sylvia

Dear Slyvia,

I wish I could say that the cheating was entirely his fault. I am loathing to admit this because I would prefer it if I could say that it was his entire fault. Honestly, more often than not, it is his fault. He was probably weak, selfish and shortsighted.

HOWEVER, I don’t believe that things happen in a vacuum. Was there something that you could’ve done better? Could you have spent more time nurturing your relationship? Could you have made yourself more available both emotionally and sexually?

These are all questions that you must ask yourself. Men become ‘weak’ when we don’t get the things we need in a relationship. And if the temptation is good enough, we will look for what is missing outside the relationship. Moving forward, you must try to balance the time you spend working and what not with the time you spend with the man in your life.

If you have any questions, email itsaguything@newtimes.co.rw  

 

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