If you have an issue with your man’s ex, tell him so

Dear It’s a Guy Thing, I am in a serious relationship and we have been together for over 2 years. We met after he had just broken up but it was more of a circumstantial break up whereby he was moving away and they didn’t want to do long distance.

Dear It’s a Guy Thing,

I am in a serious relationship and we have been together for over 2 years. We met after he had just broken up but it was more of a circumstantial break up whereby he was moving away and they didn’t want to do long distance. His ex has moved to our city and he talks about going to meet her to just see how she is doing in the new place. I know I should trust him but I am quite worried about something happening. How should I express these feelings to him or should I just ignore it because it can lead to a serious argument?

Linda

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Dear Linda,

Honestly, this question is all about you and your relationship with your boyfriend. I think that you should ask yourself, “do I feel comfortable in my relationship? Is it strong? Do I really trust this man”? You say that you are in a serious relationship, so I assume that the both of you see a future together.

So, if that is so, why does it seem that this woman’s presence in your lives is causing you mental anguish? Yes, he only broke up with her because of distance, but it seems like he’s settled down with you. So, why are you feeling insecure? Honestly though, if you feel that him meeting her makes you feel uncomfortable, just talk to him and explain to him how you feel. There is nothing wrong with making demands, as long as they are well articulated. You can’t just say that you don’t want him to see her; you’ve got to give proper reasons. And, remember, what is good for the goose, is also good for the gander. Remember that he might make some demands in the future that don’t seem to make sense to you. You WILL have to agree to them as well.

If you have man issues, contact me at itsaguything@newtimes.co.rw 

 

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