While I was out insisting men had issues, I came to an appalling discovery. Okay, truth be told, I am not new to this kind of thing but I never knew it still existed!
Back in my ‘heydays’, I had this clique of friends I made it a point to go everywhere with. If one so much as got up to use the bathroom, the others would follow! If a guy asked one of us out, he would have to confirm how heavy his wallet would be that night as it was certain we would all go.
Eventually we grew up. And this is one of those times when growing up is a good thing – when you realise just how ridiculous some of the things you did were.
Last week, I was told the story of a guy who literally pulled the ‘out the men’s restroom window’ move when his date showed up with half the members of her hostel. I’m telling you, I would jump through a window too if a guy came waltzing into a place with every friend on his facebook list!
Another guy asked his girlfriend out to dinner- I suspect her dorm mates were on the brink of ultimate starvation - and she showed up with another three of her exceptionally hungry friends.
The man watched them devour the food like starved pigs, never once showing them that he was not amused by their presence. But when the bill came, he did what only a true ninja could do and paid for two plates, his girl’s and his own!
Baffled and embarrassed, the girl asked him why he only paid for two plates and his response was of another ninja-like nature...When we go home, will I be sleeping with all of you?
I can only assume it took them quite some time to come up with a suitable answer – if they even came up with one at all. They must have stuttered, coughed, asked him to ‘come again’ (as if they hadn’t heard him the first time), till it sunk in well that the dude wouldn’t part with another dime – more so on girls his girlfriend accuses him of fancying every time he glances their way! Cheers!
We...no, that’s not right...whoever is still pulling such weak moves should be fined! If you want him to ‘house’ your friends, don’t be shocked when he asks them to give up their ‘goods’ too! I’m just saying!