True Story:How I narrowly escaped being a cannibal’s dinner

I was warned never to walk in the night, seek shelter when it rains or visit anyone in this area. ‘Son, this village is infested with cannibals,’ the granny I had gone to visit informed me.

I was warned never to walk in the night, seek shelter when it rains or visit anyone in this area. ‘Son, this village is infested with cannibals,’ the granny I had gone to visit informed me. Naturally, I laughed and labeled it a superstitious myth but still nodded affirmatively just to put the old woman at ease. 

If the closest you have ever been to seeing a cannibal is on your TV or YouTube, count yourself lucky! A cannibal is a human who despite all tribes of available meat on this planet chooses to devour human flesh for survival, dietary, ritual or pathological reasons.

Though I was to spend a few days in this village, the crush I had on the village belle just a day after my arrival was reason enough to extend my visit. As a young man from the city, I was the centre of the attraction. This attraction didn’t only attract the females.

I always felt I was being watched every time I left the old woman’s abode to go to the village centre, though I blamed it on the zombie movies I so frequently watched.

On that fateful day I met my belle at the market and she asked me to go see her at around 7pm when her folks were indoors so that we could get to know each other. I helped her carry her groceries not knowing I had also dropped a notch on the food chain!

We later met and had a great time, after which she wished me a safe journey back home. Just a few meters from her home, someone crossed before in unnatural speed. The hair on the back of my neck stood, and my heart beat faster than Japanese Taiko drums.

This is when my grandma’s advice came back to me; it was a little too late. I was all alone on a dark road hearing wild dogs bark. My legs trembled, and sweat wasn’t the only liquid that trickled down my feet. In a flash, I was surrounded by naked cannibals (also known as night dancers) dancing around me. My senses deserted me one by one, starting with my sight, till I lost consciousness.

I woke up three days later in my granny’s bed. Apparently, I was wrapped in banana leaves and taken by my belles’ brothers to be their meal. When they unwrapped me, she noticed it was me and fought with them to let me go. They gave up after three days and dumped my body by the road side.

As told to Martin Bishop

 

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