I am known for my partying skills – I’m a genius at sniffing out the hottest parties. And with all these Christmas parties going on– I’d be lying if I said this isn’t my favourite time of the year.
Should you ever feel the need to test your partying skills, holler at your girl (that would be me)! I will take you to the best parties- classy at that!
Let me cut straight to the chase- over the weekend I conveniently invited myself to a high class corporate party- dressed like a bonafide socialite- I am good pretending I am an important guest.
Well I found myself in a very intelligent conversation with an eminent gentleman. (Even if you threaten to kill yourself, I will not tell you his name).
But first I need to explain something- I have a certain air of superiority that tends to engulf me when I find myself in these kinds of situations.
I suddenly get an involuntarily posh accent coupled with a million dollar vocabulary… I start speaking about the economy, China and American politics-yeah of course I know these things because I google them -Wikipedia baby! I watch the news too but only E- News and not that stuff on Al Jazeera.
On a normal day, if I sat with someone for two minutes and they so much as mentioned words like Republican or Democrat, I swear I would empty my glass of alcohol in their face.
But now I was on a mission to impress, I was asked what my thoughts were on the insurgency in Syria and oh my goodness! I had no clue about Syria whatsoever- let alone knowing where the hell the bloody country is located- that is not what I had crammed- I thought we were going to talk about the M23 in Congo – I did my homework on that and went as far as learning where “the terminator” was born.
Now I had no backup plan on which topic to discuss, so I had to feign a phone call- (that trick never gets old, just put the phone on your ear and walk out.)
Okay, so for being so dumb, I was forced to leave the party prematurely. Just do not be so uninformed for the love of God- a little knowledge about world politics never killed anyone.
Now go on- learn about Syria and all that important stuff that old people talk about.