Is pregnancy the ticket to marriage?

There is the misconception that in Rwanda, if a man impregnates a woman, he, by law, has to marry her. Society Magazine’s Doreen Umutesi and Martin Bishop asked a few individuals what they thought about nuptials stemming from a pregnancy.

There is the misconception that in Rwanda, if a man impregnates a woman, he, by law, has to marry her. Society Magazine’s Doreen Umutesi and Martin Bishop asked a few individuals what they thought about nuptials stemming from a pregnancy.

I personally think the child would be much happier seeing both parents get along unmarried than to eventually split up because the marriage didn’t work out.  Remain parenting partners and be happy.

Ingride Mugunga,
Remera resident
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Well, personally I wouldn’t marry a girl simply because she is pregnant with my child. I can only marry her if we both agree to it but I can’t be pressured by circumstances like pregnancy. I strongly believe that marriage is for people who are truly in love.

Collin Sekajugo,
Founding Director of Ivuka Arts

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The problem really isn’t with society’s take on the matter, but letting my girl down. When you love a girl, you don’t run away when she gets pregnant. It’s up to a man to take care of her and show her that you meant it when you said “I love you”. Some guys just don’t know how heavy those words are to a girl, and only use them to get her into bed!

Danny Sibomana,
 journalist with Kigali Today

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I have two views on this - I would marry her if she is not against it. But if it is pressure from society and her parents, yet neither of us thinks it is right, I don’t see why we would go ahead and get married just to please other people. Marriage should address mutual understanding and love and the rest will fall in place. 

Jacko Gollan Makara,
Nyarutarama residence

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It all depends on the relationship we had. First of all, being a devout catholic, my beliefs state that fornication is a sin but since anything can happen, especially since we are human, I would seek repentance and marry her.

Bob Gakire, Decentralisation, analyst at Ministry of Local Government

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I would never use pregnancy to “trap” a man as that doesn’t guarantee anything.
 
Juliette Kabanda,
hair stylist

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No I wouldn’t. Marrying “for the child” would create a tentative relationship, which will eventually grow into resentment and filter down to the child.

Fab Muhoza,
university student

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People should get married only if they intend to honour their promise of a life-long commitment.

Jackie Mutesi,
student at ULK

 

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