I hate people who…

…are always posting baby pictures on Facebook.   Yes, I said it. Almost every day on  Facebook, some fertile friend has posted a picture of a baby. What is this?

…are always posting baby pictures on Facebook. 

Yes, I said it. Almost every day on  Facebook, some fertile friend has posted a picture of a baby. What is this? I thought Facebook was asking you what is on your mind not what you saw at the maternity ward.

Don’t get me wrong, I like babies; they are always lovely but we should not openly frustrate government plans to control population growth by showing off our babies all the time. And what are we supposed to do in case we don’t have babies yet? Are we supposed to post pictures of... my editor just crossed out the word. Anyway, I joined Facebook to see your face not your offspring otherwise it would be Offspringbook!

…write like this: “Da prsne hu tld u dat mst hv bn blzd, U nd 2 dmp dem.”

 My dear readers, I do not support violence against women, domestic violence or any kind of violence against men. However, in this case – just this one – I think people who write like that deserve a serious beating with heavy books. To be honest I think these fools are just trying to make us believe that stupidity is the new cool. Why would someone write like that and continue to live among us? If we can jail rapists I think these annoying people should also follow. Just imagine if I wrote my whole column like that? Such writing should only appear on toilet walls.

…waste time branding all rich people as illuminati.

I must confess that I do not know much about this nonsense called illuminati and I do not really care since I don’t have time to waste. However, I do hate those who have the time to yell about it all the time.

So what if someone is rich because of it? Why don’t you find ways to join and get rich or simply shut up? I am planning to become rich very soon. Do not laugh because my ‘soon’ is better than the one Jesus talked about. Anyway, when I become rich and I hear idlers talking about me and Illuminati, I will hit them with a bag of coins. Please find something useful to do with your life.

…don’t bother to update you on the progress of an issue.

Many times we talk about poor customer care in general but as The Hater I prefer to hate people on a more personal level. Yes, I hate those jokers who sit on customer care desks and promise to call you back but never do anything beyond the promise.  They force you instead to keep calling them so they can be reminded of their job. For sure, such people should not only be denied employment. I think it would be fair if they are also not allowed to procreate. We just don’t need them in the human gene pool anymore.

…enter ATM booths and spend ages inside.

I don’t really understand why someone with a brain can walk into an ATM booth, stand in it for over ten minutes only to come out and announce that it is not working. Do you really need ten minutes to find this out or were you using the same time to make sure it never works again?

Others prefer to put the card in and out twice for each transaction. Makes you wonder whether they were trying to trick the machine to offer more money than they have on the account or something. For sure some of these time wasters should have their cards sent to a village SACCO.

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293

 

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