Is his ‘girl pal’ threatening your happily ever after?

Women are extremely cautious creatures. It is our nature to notice every suspicious detail in a relationship. We will sit for hours and collect every single piece of data our memory can gather. If need be, we will make notes, lest we forget, about all the times ‘the supposed friends’ gazed into each other’s eyes.
Talk to your man if his friendship with another woman makes you uncomfortable.  Net photo.
Talk to your man if his friendship with another woman makes you uncomfortable. Net photo.

Women are extremely cautious creatures. It is our nature to notice every suspicious detail in a relationship. We will sit for hours and collect every single piece of data our memory can gather. If need be, we will make notes, lest we forget, about all the times ‘the supposed friends’ gazed into each other’s eyes.

It is not unusual for men and women to have friends of the opposite sex. But, how friendly are they? Do they walk off to dark corners to giggle about things only THEY know? Do they constantly share a bed claiming theirs is a sibling kind of love?

Whatever...the first thing is to make sure you are not the one ‘seeing things’ or simply being jealous. I know it’s nice to have a man all to yourself but you have got to let him breathe. Jealousy can cloud your judgment and create thoughts in your mind that are not true about your partner and his female friend.

Observe your partner’s relationship with her before you reach any conclusions. And by observe I do not mean spy or stalk. Try not to lurk in any bushes to see if they will share more than a bizzou after leaving work together.

Ask yourself, how much time do they spend together? How often do they call each other? How important are her phone calls? Does he literally trip over furniture in a desperate attempt to pick her call before she hangs up? Are they flirtatious? Do you have that gut feeling she wants to be more than just friends? 

If they spend a lot of one on one time together and talk to each other on the phone frequently, then this could be a problem. If you notice they are flirtatious with each other, then this friendship has crossed the line. We all do a little casual flirting here and there, but if the flirting is strong and your instincts tug at you like an agitated toddler, then you have a problem.

Even with this, bear in mind that she can only be a threat if your man makes her a threat. If he gives up too much of his time to be with her, even though she will be gloating inside, the issue is with that man.

He may not be aware of her full intentions (if she is indeed interested in him romantically), but he IS a fully grown man who surely knows flirting when he sees it. He also knows what he is doing when he chooses to spend a certain amount of time with her.  In English, if you feel insecure or threatened by her, it is because your partner has behaved irresponsibly and has not taken your feelings into full consideration.

Have a talk with him and let him know how you feel, keeping your requests rational. Remember, he is your better half, not a doll you own. He is entitled to friends, just like you.

He owes you a considerable amount of respect and should work towards making you feel more at ease. If he brushes you off like an irritating fly then it is time to take a closer look at your relationship and find out just how important you are to your partner.

He does not have to stop being friends with anyone, but if it bothers you that much, then he should be willing to drop things down a notch. That is certainly not too much to ask.

 

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