Expect a partner, not a clone

Dear Guy, My boyfriend and I are going through some serious issues. We have been together for a bit over two years now and for once we both are realizing some really awful characteristics about each other.

Dear Guy,

My boyfriend and I are going through some serious issues. We have been together for a bit over two years now and for once we both are realizing some really awful characteristics about each other. For example, he simply does not get my humour. I crack a joke and it’s like the end of the world with a “well that’s mean” or “well that wasn’t too funny”. This is supposed to be the guy, I’m allowed to be free with but I find myself tip-toeing around him and telling my closest guy friends or colleagues the jokes. But that is just a mere example of a quality that is essentially to me and he doesn’t appreciate it.

Are we just prolonging the inevitable?

Sarah

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Dear Sarah,

If the fact that your boyfriend doesn’t ‘get’ your jokes is the biggest issue

in your relationship, then all is well. I’ve noticed, for a while now, that most couples expect that in order to have a good relationship they must be similar. I call it the ‘Hollywood Syndrome’ because this is based on romantic movies and what not. Movies have the tendency to make us believe that everything must be ‘perfect’ for someone to become one’s soul mate.

When we are looking for partners, we must ask ourselves the most important question, “do they have the same VALUES as me”? If you feel that you share the same values (and I believe you do-that’s why you’ve been together for TWO YEARS) then that is a foundation to build a solid relationship on.

If you have questions you want to ask me contact itsaguything@newtimes.co.rw

 

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