Time apart doesn’t mean it’s over

‘I think we need to spend some time apart from each other,’ goes the line when a relationship starts getting suffocating. Sometimes it gets to a point where one or both partners feel the need for some space and want a break from each other, believing that a break will do the relationship good.
Some couples use breaks as a way not to get into heated arguments. Net photo.
Some couples use breaks as a way not to get into heated arguments. Net photo.

‘I think we need to spend some time apart from each other,’ goes the line when a relationship starts getting suffocating. Sometimes it gets to a point where one or both partners feel the need for some space and want a break from each other, believing that a break will do the relationship good.

The question is, does this ‘break’ from each other actually help, or is it simply a strategy to avoid tackling issues that will most certainly still be there should a reunion surface? It is a fact that most people, choose not to face problems head on, opting for easier exits!

Every relationship differs and it is essential that every couple understands that taking time apart is not a surrogate for fixing or solving problems, because those problems will stick around like super glue on leather – for when you meet again!

It’s natural to feel paranoid and scared when a man tells you a break is needed because to some women, the words ‘we need a break’ literally mean ‘it’s over’. They will huff and puff and threaten to blow the house down and no persuasion on the guys’ part about it just being a little time apart will calm her down.

I know it is possible that during the break, he might find someone more interesting but if he comes back then try not to lose him, and if he doesn’t, well- hunt him down and beat the daylights out of him –just kidding. If he doesn’t come back, it wasn’t meant to be. Let it go.

Easier said than done, right? A friend of mine was seriously enraged by this ‘let it go’ business. ‘What do you mean let it go?’ she asked with a tone so ferocious, I feared for my life. In her words, letting go was not an option because some men think they can fool around then give a woman tones of baloney about ‘taking a break’, knowing well they are off for good.

She insisted that no man will make a fool of her that way, and any man who takes more of her time than he should, will not be taking breaks of any kind until she says so because she’ll be damned if she gave a man that satisfaction.

Many times, one or both people in a relationship lose themselves in some way and begin to feel stress and resentment in the relationship, even though it may not be about their partner personally. Couples will compromise their differences to keep things healthy and happy and in making these settlements, have to let go of a part of themselves in order to compromise their differences.

You need to be whole as an individual first in order to be whole together as a couple, and time apart is best if one or both of you feel like you need to get back in touch with your individuality.

Some couples get so excited when they enter a relationship (that bat an eyelid and I’ll just melt, time) that everything moves so fast. This can get stressful and scary, in which a break is a good idea. If you are afraid that you will lose the relationship if you take a break, just remember that you would have broken up later anyway- not because of the break, but because you grew apart, had irreparable issues or simply got dead bored and wished to move on to the spicy hunk who winked at you at the mall. 

Do not fear what is out of your control. See what a break can do for both you and your relationship. You owe it to yourselves to get back in touch with your individuality and learn more so that you will be able to teach your partner more about you- the more you know about each other, the better you will understand your differences and be able to build that connection that works best for the both of you.

 

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