A police detective was investigating a homicide and learned that the body of the deceased was that of a young woman, and that she was found with a bowl over her head and a spoon stuck in her back. The family of the deceased asked what the detective thought had happened. The detective replied, “She was obviously killed by a CEREAL killer”
Boy friend: Why didn’t you give me anything for my birthday?
Girl Friend: You told me to surprise you.
God answers little Tom’s prayer
Tom asked God, “How long is a million years to you?” and God answered, “One second.” Then Tom asked again, “And how about one million dollars?” and God said it was a penny to him. Then excited Tom said, “Please give me a penny” and God replied “Give me a second.”
Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that can’t freeze?
Student: Yes, hot water
Two innocent criminals
Two guys were walking along a road when they were knocked by a police car. One guy was thrown through the windshield and his friend was knocked till he rolled across the road. The first guy was charged with breaking and entering private property and the second guy was charged with resisting arrest by leaving the crime scene.