Enough with the disconcerted man

I have heard that relationships are a subtle dance between two people, but I believe that some people take this attitude way too far. There seems to be a rash of men who abruptly go from warm and inviting to hesitant, mystified, or simply remote.
Figure out if your man is in or out. Net photo.
Figure out if your man is in or out. Net photo.

I have heard that relationships are a subtle dance between two people, but I believe that some people take this attitude way too far. There seems to be a rash of men who abruptly go from warm and inviting to hesitant, mystified, or simply remote.

Does this sound familiar to you or is one of your girl pals struggling with a puzzling man? The real kicker here is not so much that they do it, but that their women let them do it! Unfair as it may sound, we are part of the problem.

Some men naturally take what they can get, and if they can get it without having to give back or otherwise alter their lives to make room for you and their needs, they will do that. So the question is how are they able to get so much when they offer so little?

I cannot emphasize enough how frustrating it is to be in a relationship that is one emotional roller coaster after another! One day you are good, the next he doesn’t know if he fits in with you. One moment he declares his undying love for you and the next, he is not sure what he wants.

Sad truth is, he DOES know what he wants. If he wants all of you and is prepared to give back as much or even more than he took, then he will do just that – no need for talk! Granted, there are exceptions sometimes - he might need a hasty kick in the butt to get moving.

Naturally, women are doers. If we want something, we go for it. If there’s a problem, we fix it, even if it means consuming our pride or compromising in the name of peace. Naturally, this would be an amazing quality if used accurately.

If applied mistakenly, say for a guy who can’t seem to decide whether he is in or out, all you get is a man who feels quite free to come and go as he pleases. If you allow him to waltz back into your life after going M.I.A, then you are inviting him to leave again. You might not like this assertion, but it is true nonetheless.

Ask yourself, do you deserve to be with someone who is only around when it is convenient for him? Do you deserve to be with someone who goes M.I.A every time you tackle the imbalance? I’ll answer that for you – no! You deserve someone who is going to give as consistently and zealously as you do.

Find ways to deal with the situation. Don’t not let him call your bluff! If he develops a case of the “perplexed,” do not draw a line on the ground saying you will not tolerate it, only to take a few steps back when he does it again, redraw the line and expect him to take you seriously. He won’t, and justly so.

It is one thing to compromise; it’s another to compromise yourself. You can sit back and take all of the swinging, but in the end you will end up mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. If you are not being treated with respect and fairness, do not sit back and take it! You have to be your own advocate.

 

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