When you first start dating someone, there are certain things that need to be put into consideration in order to move on with the relationship –reasons for hanging onto your man or letting him go – in other words, deal breakers!
Nobody is perfect; however, a few characteristics should be absolute deal breakers for you. Do take me seriously when I say that deal breakers do not involve things like ‘he never wears matching socks’ or ‘he blinks way too much’. Instead, a true deal breaker is something that’s justly non-negotiable.
I don’t know about you but my ultimate deal breaker would be an unsupportive man. If he never backs you up, then it’s time to reassess your relationship. If you got a promotion at work or decided to change careers because you believe you can do it, and the best he did was make some snide comment or barely looked up from the Man United Vs ‘whatever’ game, then cut him loose. You don’t need criticism or negativity, you need support.
Do you have a guy you are seeing consistently but isn’t your boyfriend? Or is your boyfriend doing everything boyfriends do except commit to a more solid relationship? Well, the guy isn’t really your boyfriend no matter how much you think he will be. All he wants is the privileges that come with having a girlfriend and that’s all there is to it.
If you’ve brought it up and he is still not man enough to decide if he’s ready to define your relationship, he doesn’t deserve to be with you. Even shoddier, he may question your needs and desires, minimizing your need for a commitment. If he does this and it makes you believe, even for a second, that you are in fact too needy, please run for the hills and don’t look back!
As for the steady boyfriend who doesn’t wish to get steadier, if you haven’t talked about the ‘M’ word yet, well – better late than never! If he bores you to tears with stories about his dislike for marriage or that he just can’t see himself as a husband, it might be time to let him go. Don’t forget to punch him in face for wasting your precious time...I’m just kidding – after all, you want that ring, and damn it, if you have to move to the ends of the earth to get it then so be it.
The biggest mistake some women make is hanging onto a guy who’s in a relationship with someone else. They try so desperately to justify this – he is really unhappy, they are on the verge of divorce, or he is leaving her any day now!
To you, it might be the best relationship you’ve ever had (apparently wrong has never felt so right) and sure, most people come with baggage but extremely heavy baggage like ‘a wife he’s about to leave’ is a story best suited for fools and you are not one!
These married men or ‘unavailable characters’ always say the most miserable things– for example he loves you and wants to be with you but he doesn’t want to hurt the girlfriend he says he doesn’t love anymore! Apparently, he would rather wait for her to break up with him – well, good luck waiting for that.
If you’re dating someone who isn’t fully available to you, you’re making yourself unavailable to someone who truly deserves you – and that’s just dumb! You deserve the best.