This question will stand the test of time and it doesn’t matter if you are from Cambodia, Spain, Rwanda or Togo! Why ARE relationships so hard? Is it the relationship that’s so hard or are people making them impossible?
According to selfcreation.com, relationships don’t necessarily have to be hard although we sure do a great job making them so. For one, there is more personal misery disguised as a relationship than people care to admit.
Rarely will you find a person who’s very happy with themselves and their life having serious relationship problems. When you are unfulfilled as a person, you tend to look outside yourself for the culprit – that, for most people, being the significant other!
Some people use unhappiness to motivate a partner. We snap when a guy just sits around after dinner showing no sign of helping with the dishes – it’s natural but it’s also a way to get them to behave the way we want.
If you ask me, some guys make polite seem like a little too much. Even when you do ask for their help nicely, they lie to your face and tell you they will get to it the second they are done with whatever it is they are doing – most cases that is laying in the couch watching TV! If I’ve asked politely the first time, trust that the next will be a shoe to the head! But that’s just me.
Another issue is some people would rather ignore the you-don’t-love-me-like-I-love-you scenario. At this point, we start examining all the things we do for our partner. We start to scrutinize the ways we express our love and how much time and energy we put into the relationship. When we are done, we wonder if we are truly getting our ‘fair share’!
Out of fear of being made a fool of, the wise ones back out when they still can. Others simply insist that the love will come around eventually – and when it doesn’t, somehow they are still in denial. Maybe it’s that fear of being alone or simply just loving someone too much that it doesn’t matter if they don’t love us back the way we want them to.
Relationships become even harder when you feel like there is nothing the two of you share in common anymore. Sometimes days go by when you haven’t shared a decent conversation or you simply feel lost around your own partner. You might still love each other but you just don’t seem to have that much in common anymore.
You might realise you want to get into something you’ve been holding back like art or music – something your partner probably doesn’t even know you are into! You kept telling yourself that there are sacrifices to be made in relationships and that a compromise for its sake isn’t bad at all. Only now, you want that back!
Sometimes, we convince ourselves that we need to get even if a partner wrongs us. That is by far the worst attitude because getting even won’t change what happened, it will only drive you further apart.
Do not be selfish in love. Communicate as often as necessary and let a partner know about every passion and dream. There are ways to work around this without being selfish. Support each other’s goals and dreams and commend them on every achievement, big or small. Do not cover up anything no matter how small you think it is – those tiny white lies are what build up into one huge mishap! It doesn’t have to be hard, making it easy is in your hands!