Tom walks into a library. Slams a book on the counter and screams at the librarian, “This is the worst book I’ve ever read! It has no plot and far too many characters!” The librarian looks up and calmly says, “So you’re the one who took our phone book…”.
Tom and Paul were watching news at 9:00pm. The news story was about a man standing on a building and threatening to jump. Tom says to Paul, “I bet my money that man is not going to jump”
A minute later the man jumps. Tom gives money to Paul. But Paul says, “No I can’t take it, I cheated because I had already watched the news at 7pm.”
Tom replies, “Yes me too, just didn’t think that man was stupid enough to jump twice!”.
Tom was bragging about his knowledge of capital cities around the world - he proudly said, “Go ahead and quiz me.”
His friend asked, “What is the capital of France?”
Tom replied, “That is so easy, it’s F.”