There is no good feeling like being in love and being loved. Sometimes people like asking how do you know she/he is the one? Well, there are many tell tale signs that the person you have met is just the right one for you.
But what many of us still not sure about is, how can that one person you love so much not make your relationship work? What happens, what have we done wrong to an extent that two people who are in love cannot even share a smile together. How can two people who have lived together for so many years, not even care about each other anymore.
Well, truth be told- there is no marriage without problems. Even the longest married couple, will tell you that there are a few things in marriage that if they are not well taken care of the marriage will surely crumble.
But how do we go about solving the problems?
Acknowledge and work
We all know that there is nothing like a perfect being. When your partner wrongs you, it is only prudent if you sit down both of you and try to solve the issue. It will not help when one partner sulks, and the other is living in a total oblivion when the other is hurting. Acknowledge the problems and work it out.
Identify the stressors in your relationship.
Every relationship has its own unique problems. Some people have money issues; others have infidelity issues, while others have job issues. Some of these problems however how small can shake up a relationship. But once a couple points out the stressors in the relationship and work them out, then they will be able to guard themselves in the future.
Not many of us can easily acknowledge fear. The most common relationship problems range from fear of intimacy to fear of rejection. Everyone struggles with some kind of fear – but some people struggle more than others.
Once you acknowledge your fears to your partner, they will help you overcome it- and reassure of you of their love and support.
Have emotional integrity.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say. If the two of you have agreed on some things, please let each one of you fulfill their part. Leaving one partner to struggle alone in making your relationship workdrains them in more ways than one.
Be willing to ask for help.
I know it is difficult for most men to admit to their partners that they have cash problems. But when you are in a relationship/marriage it is okay to ask for help from your partner. At some point in everybody’s life, there has always been shortage of cash. Partners who discuss money issues and agree upon have stronger ties than those who do not.
List down yourpriorities,
values and goals.
It is a known fact that each one of you has their priorities, values and goals as individuals. But when two adults decide to become one, they must sit down and come with one common list of these three things.
For example, if on top of the man’s list of priorities is to buy a home for his family, then his wife’s is a to own the biggest fuel guzzler there is in the car show rooms- then there will be a great misunderstanding here.
Two people must have these three things sorted out for the relationship to work;otherwise it will be a home of wrestlers.
Have an action plan.
It is good as a couple to have dreams and strive for the best. These dreams are what will motivate one to perform their best in the daily to daily life, but with the other person in mind. An action plan will push the couple to realize their dreams together and plan effectively for their lives and that of their children.
One lady told me, why fight for a relationship if it is not working- why not just let go? But I replied her that then there is no need for one to get into a relationship if her/his aim is to get out of it; in short don’t start something that you are not willing to fight for.