Of late I have picked up a new hobby- asking people about their love life, although it is their sex life I am more interested in.
I cannot even begin to thank God for the girls that air their dirty laundry in my presence, it gives me the opportunity to snitch and tell you what girls talk about when they are alone.
Anyway, as a result of my interests I have found myself hanging around girls a lot but oh boy! These girls I hang with have no shame whatsoever, they say it the way it is supposed to be said.
For fear of public persecution I will not repeat their exact words in a national newspaper, but I will however, try to put the message across as politely as polite can get.
We were having a chilled drink and of course discussing men and sex at our local bar when a fairly good looking dude came and left with one of the girls we were seated with.
Unfortunately, he wore a white shirt that had dark brownish-yellowish patches around the armpit area, plus there was an awful stinging smell that bounced off him. That kind of smell that goes straight to your noise and you suddenly have the urge to sneeze. Now the combination of these things left him and the girl he left with for injustice, there is no way in the world the two of them were going to survive our lethal tongues.
And if memory serves me right, I saw the lingering flies and mosquitoes drop dead the minute that man made an appearance at our table, I badly wanted to believe that it was a coincidence but one of the girls noticed too and confirmed that the odour was so strong it killed the poor insects.
Now imagine that girl proudly matched off with her stinking man, with his hand wrapped around her shoulder. It is still an unresolved mystery how she comfortably pulled it off with throwing up, I cannot lie we were counting down how long she would last but to our dismay she made it far. At least until she was out of sight.
We’ve all run into this situation at one time or another; the stinking, putrid, foul smelling stench of armpit odour. I do not know how other people handle it but I believe if you like someone enough to spend time with them or even share a bed with them, then the best way is to tell them they stink, that is if they do.
Sometimes we are afraid of hurting the people we love, and it goes without saying that telling the truth to someone who might feel embarrassed is a little scary, but then you also have to think about yourself, you do not want to be spending most of your time with someone whose breath you are trying so hard to avoid.
They say love conquers all but trust me, bad breath and smelly armpits are one thing love will have problems conquering.
Now at the very risk of stating the obvious, no girl or man wants a stinking partner, but if you can handle your stinking boyfriend or girlfriend, please do not introduce them to strangers you are trying to impress, because they will embarrass you.