Auntie’s corner

I have been dating my boyfriend for over eight years now. We live in separate towns and meet once a month when I make an effort to plan for us to have a getaway weekend together. As much as this man professes his love for me when we are together, when we part ways- he will never call me unless I call.

I have been dating my boyfriend for over eight years now. We live in separate towns and meet once a month when I make an effort to plan for us to have a getaway weekend together. As much as this man professes his love for me when we are together, when we part ways- he will never call me unless I call. He makes no effort to show his commitment to this relationship, what might be the problem here. Time is running out on me.
Juanita

Dear Juanita,

It is time to wake up and smell the coffee; you are wasting time with a man whose future plans do not include you.

In any relationship, effort must be both ways from the man and the woman. But if the two of you do not meet halfway, then it means one of you is wasting their time, and in this case it is you.

I am not aware of his promises to you, but an as adult you should be able to separate the wheat from the chaff. How can you so blindly allow someone to take control of your life for eight years?

In all the eight years that you have been subdued in this love, what is there for you to show that will give you an assurance that indeed this man is serious with you?

If there is nothing, there is only one thing for you to do; take a long walk.

There are the tale tell signs that when a man is serious with a woman or if he is playing Ping-Pong with her.

For example what is this dating for eight years all about? What exactly is it that he is not sure of before he commits himself to walk you down the aisle? Do you ever ask questions?

Juanita, it’s your life we are talking about here. Forget the days when men used to control women like puppets on strings, time has come for you to stand on your own and make sound decisions. You cannot put your life on someone’s hands and let them decide your fate.

Unless the two of you have an arrangement to “cohabit”ab initio ad infinitum otherwise I see no reason to stay that way longer than it is necessary.

I understand that marriage is entirely one’s choice; but if the person you have been dating for eight years is masquerading as your future spouse, but he is undecided- what more are you waiting for?

Beware of a man who only remembers to call you once in a month when it is only convenient for him to do so. How sure are you that wherever he is, he has not committed himself to another woman? I don’t know about you, but I smell something here.

Look here, unless you want to continue being treated as a second class citizen, in matters that concern your life,you need to have a serious talk with this man.

 

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