Ladies, forgive me as I spill the beans (for once) on the weirdly awesome goings on inside the brain of a woman. Oh yes I have my reasons, but I’m guessing it has everything to do with the fact that I was surprised by the men’s secrets because I always considered men to be the most straightforward species, what you see is what you get; no surprises here.
Women, on the other hand are a completely different story. We don’t say what we mean, we hear what men don’t say, and above all, possess the uncanny ability to get what we want. So yeah, I expect secrets from women and unfortunately now, feel slightly suckered by men.
But men, I ain’t that mad at you. How could I be? Especially when women have been keeping much worse secrets since the dawn of the ages. So here I go with some of them….
We, yes women, save mementos from past relationships. We’re not still pining over that loser who cheated on us or slept with our best friend ... but we are saving that sweet love letter he gave us when we had just met. Remnants of our romantic past serve as reminders of how far we’ve come, memories of our younger days, and how good it feels to be loved.
When we say no gifts...we’re totally lying. Let there be gifts. Let them rain. Let there always be gifts. While we may swoon over the expensive (doesn’t every girl?), we swoon a million times harder over the thoughtfulness too.
We are very divalicious. When we’re all alone (and I mean super alone), we sing and shake our booty with enough awesomeness to make even Beyonce blush, hah. Trust me every woman does this secretly…sorry girls I had to let this one out….. to gloat that we too can be bootilicious in our private and spare time.
We spend way too much time...scrutinizing our face in a magnifying mirror; I mean really too much time and yes guys am sure that you can testify to this! We know every large pore, sun spot, unruly chin hair, and fine line on our face. We then stay up nights thinking about them…haha
We have girl crushes. Oh come-on, get your mind out of the gutter! Girl crushes involve lusting after another woman’s style, superior genetics, wit, and undeniable charm. Don’t judge us its super human.
Now guys pay very good attention to this one…when you ask if we’re wearing something new...
We’ll usually say no but the reality is that we are irritated with you for not noticing it before you asked. So touché for guys who are already doing the opposite…yes take time to notice the tiny small new stuff that we might have.
Every girl wants to be wanted, grab us (by surprise), kiss us hard or send a bad boy text. We’ll usually pretend that we don’t like it but we do. We really and I mean really do.
We’re usually mad at you. Girls you know what am talking about! For something, anything really. Estrogen’s an evil witch (excuse my Spanish)
We pretend...all sorts of things, including but not limited to: having our very own cooking show, and that every single love song is about us (obvs).
We treasure our girls night out…where we talk and talk, we laugh, we cry. It’s not really a girl’s night until somebody cries and we engage in a platonic group hug. But the main reason why we look forward to it is because we enjoy seeing the funny uncomfortable suspicious look on you faces when we mention that we are having a girls’ night out.
We absolutely enjoy watching sappy romantic movies. Ohh yes, sappy romantic movies that have really hot guys that we’ve watched a million times. We quote every line, act out the good parts, and still cry in the end.
Well guys I hope this will help you to understand us a little bit more than the usual and since I have shared some of our swoon secrets, yes some, maybe this time around you can share some of yours!