Oh yes, I am a little shy. Ok, not just alittle, a lot shy. I am not the kind that will see this girl, and walk up to her without even thinking about it, and jazz her up. No, I am the kind that will see a girl, and my brain goes on lock down because I am suddenly overwhelmed, and don’t know what to do.
I suppose that shouldn’t be a big deal, but you see, I never really approach a girl until I have grown quite accustomed to her, or I am sure that I stand a good chance of getting her. But that statement "I am quite sure of getting her" is clearly wrong, because I have never got any one, even when I could have sworn she was mine. Shyness is not a good habit, and when it is an adult being shy, it really becomes embarrassing.
Interestingly, some girls tend to find this shy guy thing attractive. They like shy guys, they say they are harmless, and cute. Yeah right! I am very shy and very harmless as well, and I don’t find anything cute about myself. But, I guess my shyness levels exceed even the threshold levels of even those girls who get attracted to shy guys.
Like if a girl came up to me and realized wasn’t talking to her because I am shy, everything would get worse. I have seen girls walk away from me because I couldn’t seem to be able to hold a conversation. Yet, all along, I had so much to say to them, so many jokes to crack. With my boys, I am quite an entertainer.
They all envy me, they say I they had my skill of making people laugh, they would be Casanovas. None of them understand why I don’t even have a girlfriend. Nature played a not-so-funny trick on me.
There is this one girl that lived in my neighborhood. Several times, I found her at the shop, and we would say hi. With time, we started talking abit, and one day, in a moment of unbelievable bravery, I asked her if she wanted to go have a drink at a neighborhood bar. She declined, said she was busy that day, but tomorrow would be ok. To me, it looked like a jack pot. I had hit two birds with the same stone; I had secured a "date", and I had a whole 24 hours to go and prepare what we would talk about, so I wouldn’t be clumsy and awkward when we met.
Back home, I got my laptop and notebook, and started doing some research on what to talk about to a girl on a date. The internet has alot of interesting stuff, great ideas, but nothing specific. But I got some ideas. For example, I noted down, "make the girl talk about herself, they like it and they take it that the man is caring". Another interesting one was, "keep the girl guessing". I didn’t know how I was going to do that, but I noted it down anyway.
That night, I dreamt of how the date would go, and I saw myself having the time of my life with this pretty girl who would then go on to become my girlfriend.
The next day, I couldn’t wait for evening to come, and by 5pm, I was at the bar, already drinking a bit. By 6 pm, she hadn’t come yet, and I began to wonder if she had forgotten. At 7 pm, just as I was about to go back home, she walked in. But she was not alone. She came in with some other girl who she said was her friend.
That wasn’t good for me! I had mentally prepared for only one girl, not two. All my well-rehearsed plans came crushing down, and the best I could manage was a fumbling mixture of all the ideas. After less than twenty minutes, I knew it was a total disaster, and the girls realized it too. Her friend even gave us some space, under the pretext of going to join some other friends, but it was too late. I had lost everything I had prepared for. Let’s simply say, I didn’t get that girl too. We didn’t even become friends because she probably thought I was weird. Can you imagine that?!