When the only option is the ‘fixer’

MOST newspapers here in Uganda carry adverts of traditional ‘Sengas’ and ‘Kojas’ (Aunt and Uncle) who promise people wonders in love, love-making and finding them lovers. Now, these people have been God-send for single people who want to elevate themselves in the relationship circles and they are considered to be geniuses. That rare person is called the ‘fixer’ who enjoys the skill to a level of an intellectual.

MOST newspapers here in Uganda carry adverts of traditional ‘Sengas’ and ‘Kojas’ (Aunt and Uncle) who promise people wonders in love, love-making and finding them lovers. Now, these people have been God-send for single people who want to elevate themselves in the relationship circles and they are considered to be geniuses. That rare person is called the ‘fixer’ who enjoys the skill to a level of an intellectual.

This is a gamble that takes one through the mind of the other and only courageous people who believe they have what it takes to make the other happy can attempt it. Am not among that group of people but when am happy, I want everyone around me to be happy and if that means trying to use my poor ‘fixer’ skills then I will do. 

Many of us have intentionally or unintentionally helped to hook-up friends praying hard that the relationship will go beyond two glasses of wine but alas! That’s where most of it ends before we can start hoping that it will lead to something concrete, because, they can’t leave panic and trivialness out of the whole system.

Honestly, I find it next to impossible to be a successful ‘fixer’ because humans are difficult creatures to handle. We are all erratic, uncertain and gullible when it comes to decide what is best for us.

I’ve never had the chance to visit a ‘fixer’ but I’ve tried to fix some friends though usually I pretend like am just introducing them to each other and that’s all. I’ve never been on a blind date either because from what I’ve heard from friends, it’s an experience that at times goes bad. When you find out that you are actually not what they want and reasons vary, either the person is too narrow-minded, or ironic, or have weird table manners. For these and other reasons, I’ve decided to just ‘fix’ up, others and concentrate on my own man-hunt.

By the way, it’s hard finding a pond of belles to throw at my friends, maybe even harder than finding X and Y. Nonetheless, it’s helps when I use my friends as sources but when that pond is also exhausted, I just mention my male friend to any girl within the vicinity and at times it has worked.

But here is where the problem lies. People think that everything will work out instantly. Many people especially girls think that the guy will actually call them even before she gets on the next taxi. Now, girls tend to forget that it takes more for a dude to call the next day other than just assuming. Most dudes care more about the physical appearance and not the inner beauty. That’s the bitter truth. Men consider the physical appearance before realizing how mentally capable you are. It will take him more than just seeing and chatting you up. Men, need to feel something. The main question is whether to see a ‘fixer’ or not.

In Uganda, ‘fixing’ is as big as honor-killings in South Asia. Although I think it helps to try and ‘fix’ up a friend if it might help. You can get a person out of a village but never take the village out of them. If the person you ‘fix’ them with doesn’t help elevate them, just wonder, can anyone actually elevate them!!

 

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