LAST month, Uganda woke up to the shocking news of a woman who had hacked three step-children to death. The story is; the lady married a man who had three children from a previous relationship but had agreed to that setting.
During their dating period to this particular divorced, devoted father of three, friends said “she was the affectionate girlfriend and perfect future wife. She was kind, caring and patient with the children, demonstrating during their weekend visits with their father that she would be a nice, nurturing stepmother.”
Anyway, no sooner had they finished the church ceremony than her true self came out. First, she refused to sit with them in their wedding day car then took only one picture with them. What was supposed to be a happy day for them turned out to be a cursed day. How could a human being in this enlightened age be so cruel to innocent children?
Well, she didn’t stop there, she complained about the visits at his new home, complained about spending money on them and to crown it all she posed the daftest ultimatum that most step-mothers make, “Choose between me and your children?” She actually used the children’s visits as reason not to be home.
Does this sound like a marriage that would last more than an Easter weekend? Divorce lawyers swung into action at the earliest request for representation, and the man did the best thing ever, he chose his children.
This troubling story gives a picture that comes with men who have to deal with nagging step-wives and how they affect their relationship with their children. On the contrary, there are men who have bowed down to the pressure of their new challenging, egocentric woman and have abandoned their children.
The common scenario is of fathers who don’t offer any financial support to their children, leaving the entire burden on the mother and this has increased the number of children lacking fatherly love, care and direction.
Women should be able to accommodate the responsibilities that come with dating a man who has children from an outside relationship. If a woman can’t, it’s better to leave him alone than disrupting the family.
Men who are run away from their children, and don’t contribute to their children’s well-being have been a big disappointment for many women who are now single mothers. I understand that women do make mistakes and lay with irresponsible men thus getting pregnant but that should not be a reason to shun them in disdain and think they are good-for-nothing human beings. I know many single mothers who have successfully made it in life and far better than the poor-excuse of man who made them pregnant.
When a single mother makes it successfully in life without having to stoop at lower levels, its reason enough for the whole community to celebrate. We should always applaud and encourage these particular mothers. It’s best to understand that when a child is born whether out of wedlock or in a stable marriage, all efforts should be directed to providing the best environment for the child.
Both parties should always strive to give the best care to a child whether they are divorced or not. It’s their responsibility. They should pull all efforts and do the right thing for the child. And for all those planning to enter a relationship with children already in the picture, if you don’t mind raising other people’s children happily continue the marriage and if you can’t raising them, jump ship before you end up serving a life sentence or face the modern guillotine.