Whether “her lips said ‘no’ but her body said ‘yes’”, it is still a “No”

It is the most discussed topic on T.V, radio and newspapers. Whenever people come together, the topic is bound to come up but the most ironic thing is that many people don’t understand sexual violence regardless of the form. It might be physical sexual harassment, rape, defilement or forceful coercion.
Dean Karemera
Dean Karemera

It is the most discussed topic on T.V, radio and newspapers. Whenever people come together, the topic is bound to come up but the most ironic thing is that many people don’t understand sexual violence regardless of the form. It might be physical sexual harassment, rape, defilement or forceful coercion. So, this time around, let me take time to educate all my folks about sexual violence in our community, expose the fallacy related with it and putting to light the life-threatening consequences come as a result of it. 

Sexual violence is a lighting experience which sometimes creates dark scenes because of the who-said-what aspect that often comes into play. But some things are obviously point blank, things that are consistent in the country laws and should be known by everyone individual called a man.

Simply put, unwanted sexual contact by force is sexual assault, and that includes rape. Rape is forced, unwanted sexual intercourse that is about power, not sex. Most men usually defend themselves by giving flimsy excuses like, “She first said she wanted then changed her, but I took the first word seriously. This is stupid. The minute she says no, then stop it.

It is important to note that when a woman says no, that’s it—it’s a no. This of course includes how long you’ve known the girl, what you have done with her or will do for her. All this doesn’t matter. Whether you are the husband, fiancée, boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, it doesn’t matter. The relationship between the two of you is no defense at all, if you are sexually involved with a woman and later she says no, then the law finds you guilty of rape.

Now, to all those who believe in the so-called “point of no return,” be sure that your sentence is already written and the cold bunker is waiting for you.

This stupid belief among men that when he has reached a certain level, there’s no turning back ought to stop because if a woman changes her mind prior to penetration but a man continues then it’s tantamount to rape. This is no rocket-science to understand that it’s possible to stop at any level neither has there ever been scientific evidence to deemed impossible. If you choose to ignore her decision to stop before penetration, whatever defense you put up will not be good enough to keep you out of bars.

With the Dot Com era came the advent video violence against women, semi-nude girls in music-videos, movies and at parties. Furthermore, the public’s desensitization to crime has helped add a new element to the foundation of misconduct; some men are now using the act of rape as an element of initiation and acceptance in order to gain street credibility among fellow peers. If you are a dim-wit, your fighting for acceptance might end you up in a Pink Uniform while those you were trying to impress are walking with a swagger that has no boundaries.

Nevertheless, this should be a presumption to rush judgment on all rape cases. Partners are considered innocent until proven guilty. We need to remember that it takes two to tango. So, let’s all respect the magnificence of womanhood and most importantly, let’s respect ourselves.

 

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