Bittersweet long distance relationships

This topic is as complex as trying to understand women because there’s no definite answer to it. Different individuals have different ways of dealing with it but one thing for sure is that it consists of endless hours on the phone, on the road or in air and many hours alone.
Long distance relationships depend on trust and lots of digital communication to survive. Net photo.
Long distance relationships depend on trust and lots of digital communication to survive. Net photo.

This topic is as complex as trying to understand women because there’s no definite answer to it. Different individuals have different ways of dealing with it but one thing for sure is that it consists of endless hours on the phone, on the road or in air and many hours alone.

It’s a situation that can’t be handled by some people due to anxieties that arise with not knowing when your next meeting is going to be and the insecurities involved. Many crazy thoughts run through the mind wondering where your spouse could be. You spend the whole evening wondering if  your partner is having a peaceful night in his bed alone or partying all night hoping to pick up “one for the road”.

That’s the first phase. The second phase is wondering if he/she has found someone and how better looking they could be than you are. You keep trying to reason with whether he/she was telling the truth and not pulling your legs to satisfy your ego is another thing altogether.

If you think your partner is never true to their word like they claim then why allow such a situation to happen. This is when you feel like screaming and most times reach for a glass of scotch to help sink in some sleep. There are many versions when your partner is out of your sight and touch. Trust is shaky. Insinuation and tone take precedence when trying to check his/her facial expressions—as you Skype—for reassurance, which at times is nearly impossible.

Long distance relationships are not meant for everyone, and as my niece recently put it, “why should I have a long distance relationship at 18 years of age. That’s what my Facebook and Twitter friends are for.” This is her way of avoiding an emotional rollercoaster ride or it’s probably the many good guys that hung out with her which convinces her that she doesn’t have to deal with long distance relationships at her age. 

Well, that’s her and she has no responsibilities but what will happen when work beckons in a far-away place or when families shift? We often cry and try to hold on but people always say, “If a person is meant for you, then they will come back and if they do, that’s how you will know that both of you were meant to be.”

Well what if they never come back, that’s when I say “hand me a 9mm and hold still” It may come off as a bit heartless, but in all frankness, isn’t that how most of us feel after wasting years waiting on someone only for them to give you a kick on the butt taking into the trash bin?

However, being one person who has been in one, I encourage people not to fear long distance relationship but to make the best out of it. People no longer find time for their families let alone their spouse and themselves.

My belief is that if a relationship is going to survive the test of distance, many things have to happen. Plan family dinners, go on picnics, be open and honest in your communication and above all trust each other. Nonetheless, remember that space can be good. As the saying goes “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,”—maybe there’s some truth to it.

 

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