The hassles of dating a single parent

When it comes to dating a single parent, whether or not it will work for you depends on a number of things. For instance, what sort of relationship you are looking for, the kind of relationship the other party seeks, how many kids are involved, and the status of the nature of their parenting skills.
Kids must be top priority when it comes to dating a single parent. Net photo.
Kids must be top priority when it comes to dating a single parent. Net photo.

When it comes to dating a single parent, whether or not it will work for you depends on a number of things. For instance, what sort of relationship you are looking for, the kind of relationship the other party seeks, how many kids are involved, and the status of the nature of their parenting skills.

More than anything, it also depends on why the person wants you in their life. Some seek babysitters (literally using you to watch the kids more times than normal) while others merely seek a purse that will pay the bills. I cannot emphasis enough that both these relationships are doomed from the start.

You need to sit down and think long and hard about what it is you really want. Do you see yourself in the relationship for the long haul, ending up as one big happy family or do you just want to play it by ear, taking everyday as it comes?

You need to take into consideration that children need stability. Do not become a major feature in their lives and then suddenly disappear the instant you get bored or meet someone else. It’s not fair to them because they are vulnerable and not in control of the situation. 

You need a game plan on how best you will get along with them. Kids are not easy, and the slightest negative vibe they get from you is the start to a complicated relationship with them. It’s never easy watching your parent parade an unfamiliar person around. Some seem okay with it (out of respect)  but inside, they curse the day you walked into their lives –no matter how precious you believe you are!

The only thing worse than a kid hating your guts on spot is them hating you for a while, and just as they are beginning to warm up to you, you bail! Have a plan, sit and think, and if there is even the slightest chance that you do not want to be the newest mama, then bail while you still can.

Bailing on a kid after they have gotten some sort of stable ground causes a lot of emotional damage, especially if they have been deserted by a parent or another person they cared about or needed in the past.

Some women rush into relationships out of fear that their biological clocks are ticking way too fast. Well, biology is secondary if you keep falling into the wrong relationships. Other women think men with kids are more mature since they have responsibilities other than themselves and hence more suitable to date. Do not base your relationship on assumptions and try to make honest mistakes, not intentional ones.

I cannot begin to tell you how annoying it is for a grown person to seek attention. It’s annoying even with kids but at least they have an excuse – they’re kids! Fighting with a man’s kids for his attention is simply unacceptable. This is a test of your patience and having zero tolerance for attention seeking kids is step one in the failure route.

But, if that person is a good parent and your love for kids is eminent (regardless how menacing some kids can be) then this might just be the answer to your prayers – especially if you are unfortunately unable to have your own. It might just be the best thing that ever happened to you. Try not to blow it.

 

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