Should couples depend on wedding contributions?

What are friends for? These days, there is a new trend amongst young adults who prefer celibacy to marriage, but I am here to advise everyone that marriage is such a beautiful thing that life without it can turn out to be miserable and unfulfilled.
Ivan Mugisha & Rachel Garuka
Ivan Mugisha & Rachel Garuka

What are friends for?

These days, there is a new trend amongst young adults who prefer celibacy to marriage, but I am here to advise everyone that marriage is such a beautiful thing that life without it can turn out to be miserable and unfulfilled.

Everyone deserves to experience true love, find out what it feels like to be loved inside out, to be cherished for a lifetime and to give away your life to someone so genuinely and in complete trust.

Some people are somewhat rightfully disgusted by marriage, but it’s probably because they look to wrong places for inspiration. Sincerely, if people like Kim Kardashian or Christie Brinkley are your role models, how on earth will you ever appreciate marriage?

There are married couples, Rwandans and global icons, whose marriage lives are such an inspiration that it makes me want to get married yesterday.

When lovers decide to get married, it is a blissful flash that they don’t want to ever forget; therefore, they want its memory to last for as long as it can, despite the fact that they are sometimes short for resources to do so.

Some usually opt for silent and less costly weddings, whereby after being declared wife and husband, they invite relatives and only a few close friends to a small party. Others who prefer massive wedding ceremonies make meetings through which friends and family literally pay everything for a breathtaking wedding.

To me, what matters most is not the amount needed to spend on a wedding, but rather, that important decision to get married. If a couple decide to take their relationship to the next level, they deserve to be helped by family and so-called friends to attain their dream.

For family, it’s a must! Whether they want it or not, they must step in and contribute money, their ushering skills and more. For friends, this time is the truest test of their character! This is the time when a person can tell his close friends from the ones that just relaxed with the label.

In this economy, where everything is expensive and salaries stagnant, we must tip our hats off and recognize a bold young man who dares to propose to his girlfriend, well knowing that he will probably be starting from scratch.

With only a few francs on his savings bank account, with a rented house and a small job, such a young man has defied the odds and done what the rest of his crew are afraid to do. Instead of being so critical about his readiness for marriage, can’t his friends and family really do the one task they are meant to do and help out? It could actually be their sole purpose in his life- for those who believe in fate.

Being ready for marriage doesn’t mean that you must have money, a car, or a house. Are you bold enough to ask your girlfriend to marry you? That’s it! You have never been readier!

@RushAfrica on Twitter

Be prepared for your own day!

I attended a wedding meeting once and as I looked at the budget list, I saw some items that puzzled me, like ‘bride’s gloves’ and ‘groom’s socks’ and handkerchief! Seriously, if you are going to ask people for money at least have items that won’t leave people whispering.

The wedding cake had a six-digit sum and the cost of the honeymoon destination was included as well…yes I wrote that right, ‘Honeymoon-destination-on-wedding-list-requirements.’ The guest list had over 600 people and we all know that there are the occasional ‘wedding crashers’ or additional ‘fifth family’ members who pop out of nowhere.

I just don’t get why two people can be so determined to get married without two francs to rub together. The couple always talks about it as ‘their day’ yet three quarters of the budget comes from everyone but them!

People are dragged through one boring wedding meeting after another and literally forced to pay some kind of contribution. I say forced because when the paper goes round, all eyes are on you, making sure you jot down a sum! Like that is not enough, SMS’s keep bombarding you to the day they tie the knot—damit!

I understand family is family and friends are expected to be there for us, but not at the expense of drying their pockets and bank accounts. Give your friends the option to decide if they want to contribute to your big day rather than be pressured into it.

It is simple really; if you do not have money for a wedding, go to the bank and get a wedding loan (I hear you can do that—but it’s not such a wise financial decision) or better yet, get married when you have saved up enough money to pay for it yourself.

Your parents could chip in seeing as they DID bring you into the world and a little help in sending you off to your nest, doesn’t sound too bad. Everyone else really should just stick to being a guest and bringing the best present they can find!

Another thing that frustrates me incalculably is that, save from the fact that a couple needs contribution, they want a lavish wedding too. They will go out of their way to have the best of everything.

A reception at the finest hotel, with a guest list threatening to surpass the town’s population, a seven-course meal by the finest chef, the finest wine, the finest gowns and tuxedos (fine dresses and suits for the twelve – couple bridal entourage), a twenty-tiered cake, a fifteen-car wedding motorcade (exclusively Mercedes’) and a top of the range honeymoon nest at the finest hotel in Dubai—for a week!

After this glamorous day is over, they are broker than ever without a clue on where to start surviving because their friends already emptied their pockets paying for their dream wedding. Why do some people think that the more expensive a wedding is, the better it will be? I have been to some really grounded weddings and had the time of my life!

Even when a couple is capable of paying for their own not-so-flashy-wedding, they still insist on wedding contributions. One guy clearly pointed out to me that if this is such a problem then, ‘how come people still attend wedding meetings?’ I guess he has never heard of the word gracious!

Weddings shouldn’t be about spending every coin available. They should be well thought out and planned – possibly put into action when both parties have saved up enough to invite just a few friends and family (not the whole clan) to witness their unification. With proper planning, you might find you have a decent start to life together after the party is over.


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