Do you have a love phobia?

I get the feeling some people are itching to argue about this with me but just take my word for it. Love is as big a phobia as any other. I have a friend who is quite the serial dater.
If you always find a reason to not be with someone, you will never find happiness. Net photo.
If you always find a reason to not be with someone, you will never find happiness. Net photo.

I get the feeling some people are itching to argue about this with me but just take my word for it. Love is as big a phobia as any other. I have a friend who is quite the serial dater. He will date a girl, have fun but the second she starts showing any lovey dovey signs, he will make like a banana and split!

Another girl I know fell in love once, got seriously heart broken and developed a phobia for love so strong that her other real phobia –spiders– seemed so much easier to deal with. She simply couldn’t let herself love another man. If the 80% (for him) and 20 %( for her) heart rule ever applied, she couldn’t give a man even a third of her heart ever again!

The funny thing about it all is that she kept wondering why her relationships didn’t last longer than a trip to the bathroom. It was her fear of loving someone that kept her from being in a proper relationship. Her fear of giving a man her entire heart again sabotaged all her other relationships.

I’m not saying fall truly madly and deeply in love with every chap who comes your way. But you can’t keep running away every time your heart skips a beat when you see him out of fear that he will break it. If that’s the case, immediately stay happily single.

Players usually insist on their undying phobia for commitment. But the difference here is, they are not afraid to love. He will love you alright; but he will also love another woman shortly after he breaks up with you. It’s a cruel world sister.

Love however, is not something you can just runaway from – at least not all the time. I don’t understand how someone can be so determined to never love another ever again. What is life with no risks? So what if past relationships hit rock bottom? So what if no man loved you the way you loved them?

How will you ever know if you have scored someone great if you do not take the risk? Of course the risk has to be worth taking. Do not just jump for the nearest psycho.

Love is a positive driving force and a gigantic part of things that are good in the world. Openness and sharing, thoughtfulness and giving, gentleness and immense strength characterise love. To not allow yourself to love fully and freely effectively creates a barrier around your full potential. In short, it creates a wall around you and true happiness.

Real love (whatever that is) does not have conditions or restrictions. It transcends all hurdles that may be encountered. Why would you deprive yourself of such a great experience even when it is clear that the benefits will be great?

If Mr. X turned out to be jerk of the year that doesn’t mean you should carry your issues to Mr. Y. They are two different people and no matter what some women say about men being all the same, there has got to be a few good apples around. You just need to search better – perhaps slower too!

 

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