MANY a time, we tend to hold on to relationships that are meaningless and soon become trapped in a downward twist of emotional gloom. Being true to oneself is usually hard to do and being sincere and straightforward takes courage and a strong sense of self.
No one ever intends to hurt the person they have built imaginary dreams with, or life with, but there is a period when all the dirt comes up and it has to be addressed. If we haven’t been totally honest with ourselves, it becomes unpleasant.
I believe that everyone has the best of interests to make a relationship work right from the start. The passionate ride that makes us fly together with the power to move mountains to be together is invigorating.
Nevertheless, desires can change. If communication channels are not clearly defined, a change of heart will feel like an avalanche when the words “I can’t do this anymore” are said.
What brings about the sudden change of feelings? I also don’t know
People are different. On the surface, maybe a more beautiful person has caught your eye. Or after a deeper soul-searching, finally we realize that our morals are different, our stance is archaic or none of us is ready for a serious commitment.
Now, that the lines have been drawn. We are breaking up. The mature thing to do is to have the courage to say it in a polite way. It’s an admirable trait in a person when they can articulate their feelings as they arise, or spot an ugly situation that’s building up. We may not like it at the time, but we appreciate it in retrospection.
Many times, we get hit with a horrible attitude that relates to something that happened a week ago. Or we feel a seemingly instant resignation (that’s been bottled for years) and are left wondering, “What just happened?”
I have had instances of confusion about such situations which usually made me leave partners hanging, however some of them have been bold enough to teach me how to deal with emotional stress in a mature way. Keep it simple, stupid (K.I.S.S).
To finally acknowledge that the honeymoon period is over or the candle is burning out is incredibly hard to speak, let alone hear. But the truth of the matter is, “It’s all over”, whether you are the “dumper” or “dumpee”.