My boyfriend stares at other women

I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We have a great relationship and he is lovely but he has a very upsetting habit: if we are out and he sees an attractive woman, he will stare. This makes me feel ugly and unattractive.

I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We have a great relationship and he is lovely but he has a very upsetting habit: if we are out and he sees an attractive woman, he will stare. This makes me feel ugly and unattractive.

I once told him to stop, and he became angry and defensive, saying he wasn’t looking. I get the feeling it is a compulsion. Should I accept that this is what some men do? Or is it the sign of a cheat?
Amanda

Hello Amanda,

What can I say? Men are visual animals and we cannot help but look at a beautiful woman. It doesn’t mean that we are unhappy with who we are with, or want to cheat on her. It’s simply instinct. Trust me, even a man, lucky enough to date a Victoria Secret’s model, will still eye another woman sashaying across his path.  However, it’s understandable that you feel insecure about his staring. But, as you say, you have a great relationship, so it is obvious that he makes you happy. Honestly, try to gently chide him about his habit and not make it seem like you are too upset about it. At the end of the day, he is just looking. What harm can looking cause?
 
If you have an issue with your men, email itsaguything@newtimes.co.rw, and get your answer

 

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