From overseas? That doesn’t impress me much

I used to hear stories of parents complaining about their son or daughter’s queer behaviors after returning from overseas but banished it as much ado about nothing.
Martin Bishop
Martin Bishop

I used to hear stories of parents complaining about their son or daughter’s queer behaviors after returning from overseas but banished it as much ado about nothing.

Now I feel a little embarrassed addressing Adam as my friend. Having spent six years abroad, last month he came to visit his folks and friends. He arrived dripping with a phony accent and a nauseating sense of supremacy.

First, he blasted us for picking him from the airport in a cheap car; he went ahead and broke his mother’s heart when he refused to eat her food. The poor lady had prepared mashed bananas and yams with groundnuts sauce mixed with mushroom.

The poor lady served it with so much delight, but his son took one look and exclaimed, “what the *&$#!, who is going to consume that stuff”,  he asked. He went on and refused to take even a tiny sip on soda, claiming it was full of sugar. His brothers spent half a day combing all supermarkets searching for low fat biscuits and diet cokes for him.

By the time he went back, everyone was so pissed with him and prayed he never come back ever! Isn’t it pure idiocy to spend less than a decade abroad and then come back claiming you forgot your mother tongue while treating everyone like they are substandard creatures?

Now some people shy away from welcome their long lost friends or relatives to avoid being treated like second class citizens. Although not all people who return behave this way, the few that do makes us hesitant welcoming real friends, sisters and brothers who truly miss us and their mother land.

I suggest next time an ostentatious arrogant wannabe celebrity think of coming home, they should save us the drama and hire companies to arrange for them a five star red carpet welcome with uniformed chauffeurs to drive them in stretch limousine to the hotel of their choice where champagne on ice and lobster dinner will be waiting for them.

 

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