Digging deep into the love life of a 25 year old lady that decided to use the back door to find love and comfort, Aline Mutoni (not real name), a final year university student shares her experience about dating a married 54 year old man.
The secret relationship began when Mutoni was 23 years and beginning her university studies. When their relationship sparked off, she was unaware of his marital status and was driven by the security he offered her and the space she enjoyed from his busy schedule. As the bond grew, she eventually found out that he was a married man.
It was clear enough that he would not leave his wife. But she wanted to deal with her guilt in breaking a family apart. Ultimately, they agreed to embrace the situation as it was.
According to Mutoni, a settled man would be ‘a dream catch’ for her coupled with the fact that he did not have to lie to her. Most of all, she was not alone in dealing with issues of trust and emotions.
“His persuasiveness made me to give in; he was gentle, calm and treated me like a real lady,” She says with a remorseful smile.
As time went by,the relationship blossomed and they further got to know each other. Everything seemed so perfect and she decided to accept fate. She started feeling normal about it and even shared it with some of her close friends.
“Some of my friends supported me after knowing the man and how well he treated me but some told me off,” she recalls, admitting that she nonetheless kept his marital status a great secret.
Even though she sometimes feels awkward, it still gets to pass.
“In such a relationship, very many people are involved. He has a family and I have to deal with the guilt that I am hurting his wife and children. So sometimes, it gets to me but I often try my best to brush it off,” she surreptitiously acknowledges.
Even though this is a secret relationship, it does not stop them from hanging out and having some quality time together as they often go out of the city away from the glare of the public eye. And just like any other normal couple, they enjoy their time together.
She enjoys her space without having to deal with the pressure of having a cheating spouse. According to Mutoni, married men offer more security as well as experience in a relationship. She, however, says that it is unfortunate that it is a married man.
But as much as with the relationship goes with a lot of goodies, it more often than not has its dark side; the thought that he is in bed with his wife at home.
It carries a lot of endurance and patience. It is a heavy baggage to carry for an emotional type of person like her and however faithful she is to the married man, in the public eye, she is perceived as a prostitute.
Some of her friends brand her cheap and call her names though she still manages to stand tall. She reveals that they never fully enjoy their time together as they avoid meeting in public places if they are still in the city.
She believes their relationship is secluded and sexual-based.
Overall, despite all the challenges, the price of dating a married man may be greater than the small rewards one gets.