Dear Aunt Silvia,
I have a boyfriend that I have been in relationship with for the last 5 years. He has never proposed to me and neither does he introduce me as his girlfriend, when we meet his friends he always introduces me as his very good friend.
About eight weeks ago he asked me to have a child with him and I am left wondering what this is all about.
Please help me.Olive
If a man has been with you for five years and does not want to walk you down the aisle but he has asked you for a baby out of wedlock; that is not a serious man. Let me tell you something about relationships dear girl.
A serious man is one who dates a girl, makes sure he flaunts her to all his friends and relatives, because men like showing what they own especially when it comes to women; then proposes and eventually walks her down the aisle before getting the babies. Now this is a man who wants to spoil your future by making sure that he gives you babies out of wedlock, then dumps you and you end up living a spinster all your life. Of course you will not be the first woman to be a single mother after you are dumped, but then be a single mother willingly not when you are cheated out of it.
For starters, every woman loves babies; but get a baby that only you want and have made that decision yourself, but never have a child because a man is pressuring you to do so.
Men are very funny characters, they always say there are women who are wife material and others are girlfriend material; but the funny thing is that even though they will swear that they can never marry certain women, they still go ahead and have babies with these women who are said not to be wife material-now this thing beats logic out me!
It is funny how we stick to relationships even when we know they are not worth our effort just so that we are seen with somebody. Today, many people are trapped in loveless relationships and marriages, for fear of being seen as single; I ask what is wrong with being single? This man is just using you for his convenience, once he is through, he will drop you like hot potato; if I were you I would make a very quick exit and take cover.
My advice is, stay clear of getting babies with this man for now. Five years is a long time for you to have a relationship with somebody and he still calls you a good friend. Sometimes, girls need some little brain you know, why would someone belittle you by wanting to have a baby with you, but feels you are not the right person to spend the rest of his life with?
What part of I DON’T LOVE YOU don’t you understand? Read in between the lines and stop day dreaming. Never think even in a minute that, he will change his mind about spending his life with you once you give him a child-NEVER.That is so clear a thing to understand my dear, set it off and go look for a man who will appreciate you.