You could have a normal life, with a great job, awesome family, healthy pension plan, and solid investments. On your part, life is good. You are not exactly wealthy, but content. Then, that thing happens—that thing that, in your mind, has unforeseeable ramifications.
It could be the loss of a loved one; someone who cares, someone who takes care of you. It could be a disaster: an earthquake, a fire that destroys everything or a flood. It could be a financial recession that practically flashes your assets, savings and everything that you hold dear down the toilet.
You feel doomed. Life seems unlivable. Whatever it may be, there is always that moment when you think about paying ‘Uncle Steven King’ a visit, going into his wardrobe, getting his pistol and placing it to your temple. You might actually pay him this visit. You might even go for the gun, but for some reason, you won’t pull the trigger. That reason, aside from the obvious fear of death, is your drive, your motivation, your inspiration.
Wanjira was a healthy little girl. However, one evening she complained of a headache and her parents took her to the hospital. The next evening, while still under observation, Wanjira suffered a heart attack. Further examinations revealed that she had a rare bacterial infection that had spread to her lungs, kidneys, and heart. Within 48 hours, Wanjira was dead. She was just going on four. This is an experience that Fiona, a former workmate had to go through.
The death of a loved one is agreeably one of the most traumatic experiences a human can ever face. When a loved one dies, you will undoubtedly be confronted with various overwhelming emotions like inexplicable sorrow, numbness, shock and at times rage and guilt. Hard though it may seem, we have to remember that when faced with such grave adversity, we should take initiative to deal with it. However, how exactly does one do this?
Fiona says the one thing she did was to let herself grieve and she felt relieved afterwards. People grieve differently, others move on with notable ease while others do not. Whatever the case, you should not be compelled to meet some sort of time limit just because others think you should be over your loss after a certain period of time.
However, what happens if this grief becomes some sort of infinity, never-ending and eventually takes its toll on you?
You have to nurture yourself putting a lot more attention on your physical health. This means eating healthily and getting enough rest.
You have friends so accept their help when they offer. Do not at any one point withdraw yourself from them as their comfort and advice can be of great help in the grieving process.
Fiona says she let herself remember the happy times she had with her child. “It was painful at first but with time they actually alleviate the pain.”
Though it may seem rather difficult, working through grief will definitely help you get on with your life. You do not have to feel contrite because you think you will be cheating your beloved and putting them out of your memory for good. One irrefutable fact is that you will never forget. The memories will always be there but slowly the upset will cease to be.