Is it self esteem or ego?

Have you ever received a call from an anonymous number and before you pick it you first say a prayer? Last Friday, when my big sister called, I suspected she was going to torture me with another boring lecture about how I need to get married so as to be looked at as a real man. To her, I can only settle down when I’m married.
Martin Bishop
Martin Bishop

Have you ever received a call from an anonymous number and before you pick it you first say a prayer? Last Friday, when my big sister called, I suspected she was going to torture me with another boring lecture about how I need to get married so as to be looked at as a real man. To her, I can only settle down when I’m married.

I sighed with relief upon realising it was Biko, my 13 year old nephew. We spoke for a while then I asked him where his mother was. “Watching soccer with dad,” he replied. I was curious about the love for soccer on her part so I asked. “She’s not a fan, she just wanted to irritate daddy by complaining about the game while seated next to him that’s all,” he said.

“You mean your mother actually did that?”  I asked. “You see Uncle, mum believes that this is a ‘woman’s world’ and that every man needs a woman on this planet. But uncle, when did things switch? Isn’t it supposed to be our world?” the little guy asked worriedly.

“That’s just her thinking. Everything is okay, there’s no need to worry,” I tried to assure him without sounding like the captain of a sinking ship.

“By the way when are you getting married?” he asked.

“Why should I get married?  Son, marriage was taken seriously ages ago. It is not such a big deal these days. Back then, people got married for reasons like paying off debts. For example, if your parent owed my parent money, your daughter would be given to me in compensation. Another reason was to avoid wars.”

 “If daughters of tribe ‘A’ were married to sons of tribe ‘B’, it would be literally hard for them to attack tribe A as that could lead to the death of their own descendants,” I explained.

The little man didn’t give up. “Uncle, I understand but do you know why marriage is still a must in this day and age?” I think I gave him some cheesy explanation about how true love has something to do with it.

“Nope,” he said, “It’s because when a woman chooses to live a single life, they call it being independent yet when a man does the same they accuse him of fearing commitment. When a woman feels good about herself it’s called self esteem but when a man acts the same way its called ego. People get married to balance that out,” he confided.

Well son, I guess women really do rule the world.  When they all find out what they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble - I said to myself, after the little one hang up. 

 

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