“Why do men with attractive (physical and other) partners still cheat on their wives? “ Beatrice.
Hello Beatrice. Why am I not surprised that this is the first question this new column has to deal with? Let me say one thing before I attempt to answer your question. No real MAN will cheat on his wife/fiancé or girlfriend. Those are the actions of a BOY, not a MAN. A MAN is patient and loyal. He is not a philandering lair, constantly on the lookout for another conquest. A MAN respects the woman he has chosen and if things simply don’t work, he has the moral clarity to sit his lady down and tell her that the relationship is not working for him. A MAN makes mistakes in a relationship, make no bones about it. But a MAN also has the cojones to say, ‘This isnt working for me, perhaps we should see other people”.
But you aren’t asking me about MEN, you are asking me why BOYS cheat. Let me tell you a secret; cheating has never been, or will be, about a woman’s physical attributes, or lack thereof. Who hasn’t heard stories of absolutely gorgeous wives having to deal with roving husbands? What shocks the senses is the fact that the mistress is often nowhere as physically attractive as the wife he has left at home. Cheating is never about beauty Beatrice, it is always about ego. These BOYS feel the need to have their egos massaged by their mistresses; it is simply about that BOY’S low self-esteem and his need for validation.
I think that the elephant in the room is this question, “is it a woman’s fault that a man cheats”. I say, resoundingly, NO. Yes, a woman might be a shrew, a constant nagger, a horrible cook, unadventurous in bed, uninteresting...or any other excuse a BOY uses to justify his philandering. But a MAN will not use an excuse to do that: he will communicate with his mate and attempt to sort out the underlying issues. And if that fails, he will RESPECTFULLY cut his losses and attempt to start again with someone new.
(Send your questions and querries about men to:)