People, if I breathe my last, one of these days, don’t bother looking for my corpse; just know that Lucia, my landlady, fulfilled her promise of sending me to meet my Maker.
Although I am not a religious man, every time I hear that woman’s voice, I get down on my knees and pray like a reverend!
Yesterday when she banged at my door (her version of knocking), almost knocking it down, I started apologising before she even uttered a word. She stood there like an anti-riot officer. “What are you apologising for?” she demanded with a sneer on her face. “Well,” I stuttered, “It’s only wise to apologize to a man if you’re wrong and to a woman if you are right,” I said.
I immediately regretted my utterances. “You think you’re so smart, huh”, she asked sarcastically. “No wonder when God created Eve he made her promise that when Adam woke up, she would tell him that she was ‘created first’ and that he came from her ribs! We just let you go on with that ‘you came first’ story if it makes you happy. After all, your egos won’t accept anything less,” she educated me.
“You men are always seeking for attention. Even when a group of grown up men are digging a small hole in the ground or patching it back together again, they have to put a sign-post saying “Men at work.”
The woman went on and on. “Imagine if it were men who suffered with pregnancy and giving birth, they would cry like babies and complain about all the problems they go through. And then they brag about how they are the stronger sex”!
I watched her speak and seriously, thought about asking her what exactly brought her to my place. But the more venom she spat, the meeker I became. I just had to stand there and watch her become more and more bitter.
During all this, my mind wondered. I wanted to ask her why she was so bitter. I wanted to ask her why she couldn’t be polite for a day in her life. However, this would only anger her more. Trust me, you might think I am not man enough but when it comes to this woman even Samson, the strongest man in the Bible, would feel weak in her fearful presence.
It then dawned on me that she was so right. Woman was in fact created first. Man came after and had nothing to do about it but suffer. Had man been really created first as we were taught to believe, after the first meeting, he would have insisted that God take her back to wherever she came from!