“It all begun with the rose flowers he would bring me while I secretly waited for him at the well where we both fetched water from. I would sit by the well and wait for him to stick flowers in my then natural, long black hair,” Mrs. Rutagyengwa narrates.
Josiane Rutagyengwa, 63 met her husband at the tender age of 18 on a water fetching trip to the well. Romance or finding a suitable partner back in the day wasn’t as materialistic as it is today.
“The size of his wallet or his job title wasn’t a priority as it is now but what mattered the most was his character and if he truly loved and respected you.”
“My husband Charles was such a gentleman and very romantic too around the time we met and started dating,” Josiane says.
She says that he used to write and read poems to her during their evening dates at the well. He would then carry her jerry cans up to the path next to her home.
He cared for her like someone he treasured so much.
“I loved guavas so much so he would bring me some wrapped in banana leaves with a love note or poem that he composed for me. Despite all the love he showed me in so many different ways, there was not a time he demanded for sex. It was true love and we waited until our wedding day,”Mrs.Rutagyengwa narrates.
She says that romance these days is so materialistic to the point that some girls only find a guy romantic when he showers her with fancy gifts like cars and expensive jewellery.
The men of the dot com generation will in turn also refer to a girl as romantic when she adheres to his sexual advances. If there is no sex, then romance is meaningless unlike in the past, according to Josiane.
Back in the day, one didn’t have to have the money or sex in order to add some romance to their relationship.
“The long evening walk together, the love letters hidden under a rock, the chat while seated by the river side, the poems and the roses straight from mama’s flower garden defined true romance,” she says.
Charles Rutagyengwa, husband to Josiane advises couples of this era to borrow a leaf from the past.
“Old school romance was characterized by true acts of love. One didn’t need to have money to do shoe some love. Couples should show uttermost care for one another and treat a spouse like a queen or king,”Rutagyengwa says.
I’m not sure if these old school romance tips apply in this day and age but it is worth a shot.
Go pick that fresh burgundy rose flower and place it in her hair. Throw out those cliché lines from the movies and write her an original poem and see how magical your relationship will become. Let’s not completely do way with old school romance.