Rachel’s Ramblings:Why emotional coolness is a greater problem for women than men

I have always wondered why women are more of romantics than men. Some women are convinced they are dating or are married to robots! And let’s face it; some men do act like robots. Not a shred of emotion will you find. In fact, having or even worse, showing any kind of emotion might just be unheard of for some of them.
Rachel Garuka
Rachel Garuka

I have always wondered why women are more of romantics than men. Some women are convinced they are dating or are married to robots! And let’s face it; some men do act like robots. Not a shred of emotion will you find. In fact, having or even worse, showing any kind of emotion might just be unheard of for some of them.

This ‘emotional thing’ women have going on is a characteristic feature that is probably an outcome of the differences in the early experiences of girls and boys. It starts during our pre-school years with childhood fantasies like that of Cinderella and her dazzling looks in her ‘rags-turned-magnificent’ Ball Gown dancing with Prince Charming. We dream of Sleeping Beauty and how a handsome Prince tenderly kissed her back to consciousness. Such are the things that trap women in their dreams of fantasy.

Boys on the other hand, only think about soccer, their favorite action hero and bet on who kills the bad guys the most! While girls are out making tea parties and playing dress up or playing with their Barbie dolls and other role – oriented games that focus on dating, boys are out playing cops and robbers! How emotional!

A typical high school girl will spend three quarters of her time drawing hearts in her exercise book that has a picture of the boy she fancies. The boy – make no mistake about it- will think about sex but, the girl will be more into the lovey-dovey stuff like cuddling by the riverside! She will buy and read almost every magazine that has a romantic twist to it and her book collection will, without any doubt be jammed with Mills and Boon!

Why then are men so uninformed of this common aspect of feminine nature? Do they feign ignorance and ‘act’ like they do not know or they genuinely do not know? For centuries, women have been admonished to meet their husbands’ sexual needs. Every female alive knows that the masculine appetite for sex demands gratification, in one way or the other.

A woman’s need for emotional fulfillment is just as pressing and urgent as the physiological requirement for sexual release in a male. Both can be thwarted, at a mammoth cost! And as such, it is as inopportune for a man to disregard his wife’s need for romantic love as it is for her to foreclose on his sexual appetite. It’s just the way it is.

For the benefit of my male readers, I will restate the message; your wife or girlfriend is more vulnerable to your warmth and kindness than you realize. Nothing builds her esteem more than letting her know that you respect and value her as a person. And nothing destroys her self-confidence faster than your ridicule or rejection.

Any doubts?  During a meal with the family, in the most casual way possible, tell the kids (if you have any) what a great mother they have and how they are so lucky to have her. Tell them how you are so lucky to have her too. It doesn’t matter if she’s frying the eggs, just talk. Mention how much you appreciate and love her and that she means everything to you. (I know some guys are cursing now). Simply look out for her reaction; if she goes into temporary shock and burns the eggs, then it has definitely been too long since you complimented her.

If she flashes a naughty smile that suggests its okay to be late for work just this once, then you have a cure for the ‘convenient headaches’ she has been having around bedtime. But if your comment passes unnoticed, you must recognize that she is in a critical condition. This can be invigorated by taking her on a weekend trip to a nearby resort, at which time you will have flowers, candy and a love letter waiting in the selected motel/ hotel and a look on your face that says you will never let things get that bad again. Do it brother for it will help you too!

 

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