Rachel’s Ramblings:Always the bridesmaid and never the bride?

Are you in your mid-twenties or early thirties, watching your friends get engaged left, right and centre?
Rachel Garuka
Rachel Garuka

Are you in your mid-twenties or early thirties, watching your friends get engaged left, right and centre?

I know of women who sit there and wonder when they will ever tie the knot more so, when friends and former classmates keep sending wedding invitations like a problem.  Much as you are happy for them you can’t help but feel a little left out. The biological clock seems to be ticking louder than ever and sometimes in the mirror, you are certain you spotted a wrinkle or two!

At these weddings, you sit there and start scouting for a potential ‘hubby’. You try to drink your champagne with as much class as you possibly can lest there is anyone watching you.

When the time for throwing the bouquet comes, you feel it is your sworn duty to catch it because fate is fate. You might just be the next! Well- at least that is what you tell yourself.

It’s natural. Do not feel bad about it. There comes that time in life when you feel like everyone has someone except you. It is when your girlfriends are making plans to seal the bond with Mr. Right, that is when you realize that your dreams seem to be coming true for everyone but you! Moreover, all you have are the occasional boyfriends who have been in and out of your life so many times; your head is still spinning from all the movement. 

As women, we have all dreamed of a happy-ever-after ending. From the day we were cheeky enough to play ‘dress-up’ with our mothers’ clothes, we literally lived for our wedding day. As we grow older, some women snap out of it and others simply won’t take no for an answer.

And that’s alright, but women have got to understand that marriage isn’t all there is to life. The whole institution has been corrupted and finding a good partner is becoming harder and harder.

Nevertheless, that shouldn’t discourage you if you have your mind set on wearing that gown. The sea is wide and the fish are many, it’s just a matter of snagging the right one. And like fish, men go for the bait but only some get hooked! So you have to stand out. Be different but not in a way that changes you because at the end of the day, you can only be you.

Single women are that way for lack of good men, there are just some things they often dismiss that might possibly get them to the alter if taken into consideration.  Every woman should invest in her physical appearance and find her individual sexiness but do it with some modesty. Hot is only transitory but beauty is everlasting.

Some women are completely unaware that they come off as mean and rude. Soften a bit; I am not saying you should talk like a sick child but seriously, take the tone down a little.  You could also try smiling once in a while. Ladies, no matter how pretty you are, a face that has never seen a smile just doesn’t cut it. Quality men are not the types that ‘holler’ so that means they strike up conversation with friendly and open women.

If you are a nag, work on that the second you read this. Men do not like being nagged. Going on and on about something won’t make him do it any quicker. On the contrary, it will only piss him off.  If you have made a desire known, let it go! Nagging and bickering all the time brings relationships on a fast track to a screeching halt!

Nothing kills a relationship more than a woman who is literally good for nothing except spending money maybe. Men like to see some kind of domestic nature in a woman and he won’t see that if your acrylic nails can be wrapped around his neck. Look cute, yes, not plastic and useless!

I know friends are forever but hey, if you want to get married you will have to cut down on the tightness! Real friends will always be there, you do not have to be emotionally blackmailed to hang with them. Yes, find some time for them but also, make time for the guy and show him that he is equally as important.

Marriage might be your dream but if it doesn’t happen it is not the end of the world. Some guys can be life long partners and everything you want them to be. But they might not be into getting married. Do not nag and cry because you still have something good.  He will still be yours even without a ring or a piece of paper.

 

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