It was at about 8:30 p.m on a usual Monday night. There were few people on the streets as I boarded the KBS bus from Kinamba to town to find another heading to Kimironko. I was on my way home from my French lessons.
I boarded and was just about to sit back and enjoy my ride –as much as permissible—when the passengers besides me asked, if the conductor had told me the bus is headed to Nyamirambo. I was taken aback by his question and shrugged it off.
We got to NISR, and the bus conductor informed us that it was their stop. The conductor began to call for CHK-Kimironko passengers, call it, Kuzeguruka (moving round). To me, it was a blessing in disguise. All the passengers, even the one close to me, did not complain or comment.
We reached the last stage on the Nyamirambo road before we headed to CHK. The bus stopped and the passengers refused to get off the bus.
No sooner had the bus got off the Nyamirambo route, than they started complaining and raining abuses at the driver and the conductor who kept quiet and did not respond. Two passengers, in particular, went further to slap, poke and even curse the conductor saying, “Uzapfa nabi” (you will die a terrible death).
Everyone was shocked by the actions of these passengers. I personally found it so repugnant that I regretted ever boarding the bus. Pondering on the incident, I was able to deduct three life lessons:
First, the saying, “Tell me where you come from, and I tell you who you are” and, “Charity begins at home” hold true. These men clearly proved where they came from. These are the kind of men who trample on their wives for minor reasons.
Secondly, is the question of the security and safety of women and wives in general more especially, those who work on buses during late hours.
These women are exposed to danger constantly. Be it in the hands of strangers or enemies who could mark them publicly or privately.
Thirdly, it showed me that, although the country is promoting women and elevating them to the forefront of development, some men are still holding to the African traditional life of keeping a woman in the ‘backyard.’
Men need to treat any woman with care and respect her. My cousin William once told me that, in Rwanda, when a man opens a car door for a lady or wife, it means either the car is new or its the wife.
I order men to have love, passion and chemistry in relationships. A man must do those small things that keep the fire burning in your relationship, or else they will lose her to someone else who does it perfectly.
Call her sweet pet names, get her gifts and flowers once in a while, surprise her and take her out on a dinner date, chat with her, open the door for her and so forth. Be her guide and protector, communicate with her, provide for her, love her and this will mean a whole world to her.
There is so much a man can do for his wife or girlfriend because they always want to be handled as babies. Men, respect your women or else, someone else will do it and never wonder why that “that guy” got her. Love should not be handled manually, let it be automatic.
The Bible says, “He who finds a wife, find a good thing and obtains favour from God.” Proverbs 18:22.