Slang embarrassed me before my father
At the beginning of secondary school, I adapted a language that was called cool. All the cool guys spoke it and they were in style. I was so amused at how many girls would flood the cool guys who spoke slang.
Joddy was the nickname of the gang leader of the self-proclaimed gangster group called the ‘Diehards’ at our school.
To cut a long story short, I worked and tried so hard to join that group so that I could get a taste of their fame. When I requested to join, I was rejected.
The ‘Diehards’ told me to first learn their anthem and language before I joined their crew. This took me two solid years.
Late in the evenings, I rehearsed notes given to me by Joddy of all the slang they used, and their anthem.
“Yo bro wats cooking in the boils?” I asked Joddy one day who was surprised at how I had properly articulated the slang.
“Soo yo gona be down yo’, wid’all ya hommies. I filin’ yo tongue flip bro,” he replied. I was happy - in fact I was overjoyed that I would soon be part of a group I had admired for so long.
During one weekend when the group meetings were held, I was introduced as a new member. It still plays in my head like a record.
“Tony here is feelin’ our crew and is down, flat and clean wid y’all. I intro the one and only, nu memba, Tony bro!”
I loved my new identity. Slang became like food to the mouth. But it got worse.At home everyone looked at me queerly as my proper English got swallowed up by the slang.
One day, during holidays, I was supposed to address my father about my shopping plans.
“Yo dad, I need dem dimes for ma school fees n a nu clothing line,” as I showed my father the fees structure and shopping list. His stare was scary and his anger was clearly spelt out by a clenched fist.
“What did you just say Tony?” my father asked hoarsely.
My tongue was stuck between my teeth. I was motionless and speechless.
“Get out of here. And now I know why you are performing poorly in class. You are getting less pocket money and if this continues, NO pocket money!” he stressed with his eyes widening threateningly.
My performance in class got poorer and my father deducted my pocket money to zero. And to make it worse, the slang just did not stay away from my exam papers! Meaning I failed miserably!Beware of slang.