When it comes to dating, who should make the first move? Besides relationships, who should ask first when it comes to dancing and proposing?
Different answers have come up, some people insisting that men naturally carry that role, while others say that it has gradually been shifted to women. Another group of people say that ‘it depends’ on a number of factors and the prevailing situation.
Ritah Kamikazi, a student a University Libre de Kigali (ULK), for example, says that girls fear being misinterpreted by making the first move. They, for that reason, leave the task to men.
“People still have this old thinking where they assume a girl who asks the guy out, or makes the first move is too proactive to be trusted with love,” she says. “Girls upon hearing this step back or may try to impress silently.”
Kamikazi adds that men seem to take advantage of a girl who makes the first move, assuming that they are needy and desperate.
“Men can, for example, never be contented with the character of a woman who enticed them into making the first move,” she says.
Joyeuse Akanyana, a shopkeeper in Kacyiru, Gasabo district, has a different view. She says that some men are either too much on the market, or busy with other businesses to notice the girl desperate for love.
“Such situations have forced women to use strange tactics to catch men, including being the first to ask him out,” explains Akanyana.
She adds, “Actually, women are starting to take the lead because they are more than men, and men now appreciate the changes and would never doubt anyone coming with such moves.”
Jado Gahonzire, a recording artist and proprietor of “JOZ entertainment” a new video studio in Remera, says that “it depends on various factors”.
“Some men get a crash but are not confident enough to make the move, especially when the woman is a class above his or, has more money. Women should then get things right by making the first move if they are interested,” Gahonzire said.
Though there are several reasons on ‘who should ask first’, most admit that men have for centuries been the people to make the move. However, modernization has changed several perceptions and today, asking first, it depends on an individual’s confidence.