There was Prophet Elijah of the Bible times and then there was Prophet Elijah of our school time. Both of them were powerful men of God. One had once raised a young boy back to life. The other one had the ability to make people fall down into unconsciousness just by touching their foreheads. The unbelievers claimed that he shoved them sometimes. Unlike Prophet Elijah of the Bible times, ours was sophisticated. He was a stylish dresser with a boyish charm. He also lived in the capital city and spoke with a well-practiced British accent. The accent slipped from time to time. We got the phrase “Gaaad is a good God” from him. Also unlike Prophet Elijah of the Bible times, ours didn’t just show up in places because God told him to. He would only come on invitation after the chapel committee felt that the Lord had left us. And how did the chapel committee know that the Lord was gone from us? Well, if people started falling sick in June, it was obviously not because of the dry season. In fact, the dry season itself was viable evidence that we were far removed from God’s sight. If fewer people showed up for fellowship, it was not because most of them only remembered God during exam time. So after fasting and praying for us, after issuing several warnings concerning God’s wrath to no avail, the chapel committee would seek outside help. Enter Prophet Elijah. On the day of his arrival, the school chapel would get full to capacity. This was mainly because Prophet Elijah’s presence was always synonymous with strange occurrences. No one wanted secondhand information about such things. Students’ grandmothers would finally tell everyone why they couldn’t just ‘rest in peace.’ Students would get overcome with ‘spiritual emotions’ and they would hug the Prophet and refuse to let him go. They had to be detached by the mighty army of intercessors. Such people; the ones with dead grandmothers who refused to rest and the ones with emotional instability would get private sessions with the Prophet. We believe that it was in one such session that the Lord apparently said to Prophet Elijah of our time, “Put ye a child in that student’s womb.” And the prophet obeyed. And the student conceived. Being the unbeliever that he was, the student’s father said he wanted the Prophet’s head on a platter. So the Prophet fled into the land of the unknown. Okay it wasn’t necessarily unknown. He went to his grandmother’s home. Because of his vain need to remain in the spotlight and because of his need to keep replenished, Prophet Elijah started a church. He was eventually caught and jailed. But seeing as the student he had impregnated was eighteen years old and seeing as she hadn’t been forced to ‘obey the Lord’s voice,’ the Prophet walked free. However, the school administration announced that we had to learn to survive during the times that the Lord took the much needed break from watching over our school.
