Heartbreak sucks, that’s very obvious. It turns the world from all the colours of the rainbow into different shades of hurt and/orfiery rage. I have observed three things about this emotional crucifixion of the heart. One is that it isn’t really so much about what people have done to you as it is about how it affects your pride and self-worth. So in essence, the truth is that you are mad that someone had the audacity to waste your time. To lie to you.To reject you.To throw your love back in your face. That’s why you will lie to people and even to yourself that you were totally thrown under the bus. You didn’t see it coming. Everything was going so well. You will say things like “I can’t believe he did that to me.” But to be fair to the heartbreakers, hurting you doesn’t happen overnight. There are many warning signs. Secrets.Lies.Silence.Carelessness.Selfishness.Disrespect.But you ignore all these signs and you insist and insist and then boom. A heartbreak. Then begins the process of pulling yourself together. And that brings me to my second observation. Getting over heartbreak isn’t so much about letting go and forgiving the person who hurt you as it is about getting over yourself. When you’re heartbroken, you think and act as if your pain is very very special and oh so rare in its magnitude and type. Nobody could possibly understand it. Not even those who have gone through worse. Everyone tries but nobody succeeds at ruining the pity party that you have thrown for yourself. How are you supposed to forgive him? How are you supposed to stop loving him? How are you supposed to stop hurting? How are you supposed to love again? How are you supposed to gain the will to love life and all the people in it again? At first, people rally around you. They tell you, “I’m here for you if you need anything, any time.” They will take you to dinner. They will come and see you. But they will give you a mental timeline because of course they have their own lives to live and they have got their own problems. And if you continue to sulk, they will avoid you. “I’m here for you” will change to, “You are strong enough to move on.” Just a polite way of saying, “Enough with this already!” You take this as a cue to get your ducks in a row. And that brings me to my third observation. Getting over heartbreak is a choice. It’s a choice between self-love and self-hate. It’s a choice between moving forward and staying back. Whatever your choice, eventually you will realize that you are not the earth’s axis. The world doesn’t revolve around you. While you are sitting around submerged in unproductive thoughts, time doesn’t stop and wait for you. If nothing changes, you risk losing out on other things. School.Career.Friendship.Yourself.
