Sunday Magazine

I hate people who…

  • 15th Sep 12

…cannot stop talking when I am trying to watch TV. I do not watch TV that much but one of these days I may be arrested for strangling someone with a TV cable.

I am talking about those people who cannot be quiet as you try to closely follow a TV programmed especially the news broadcast. These people will interrupt you with the most trivial talk at a time when you are trying to focus on what is important. I wonder why they cannot wait for the commercials to open their mouths.

I think these are the same people who talk in their sleep and hold conversations even while in the toilet.  
 
…wear the same hairstyle for weeks and weeks until their hair smells. Of course I am talking about the ladies with weaves and wigs. I do not even care what the difference is. What matters is that if any is worn for a very long time then I get to write about you here. I hate these ladies with tired hair pieces.

When you sit near them you are forced to wander where the hidden dead rat is yet it is just their hair. But let me ask, don’t these ladies remember that it is just a hairstyle that should not be worn for ever like a tattoo? Anyway I guess they just can’t think at all due to lack of prior experience.

…just cancel plans after you have prepared for hours. We surely need to find out why some of the so called top universities have not thought about awarding honorary degrees to some people for their excellence in being annoying.

How can a sane person let you go through all the trouble of preparing for a party, and then call at the very last minute to stay the plan has been cancelled. So what am I supposed to do now that I have showered, unleashed my best clothes and told everyone else that I am not available because I have a party to attend? Shouldn’t there be a way these jokers can be made to compensate us for wasting our valuable time?

…misuse phrases just because they want to sell you something. I am selling my 1994 Toyota Corolla, it is in a very good condition and the price is affordable. Can we all please stand up and scream our lungs out that we are tired of these phrases. Your car is over 10 years old and you are telling me it is in good condition and that the price is affordable, what a joke.

Well my grandmother is over 90 years and in good condition as well.  And what do you mean it is affordable? Have you checked the national per capita income? The Hater is still using a taxi and you are talking of affordable. I hate you

…wear skinny jeans. I wish to sincerely apologise to my readers for not having hated these people earlier on, or on a weekly basis. I even feel ashamed just writing about them. I am talking about the men/ boys whose brains have been confined in those tight skinny (but sagging) jeans they wear and claim it is swag.

I wish I could slap them and make that sound ‘swaaag’ as the slap meets their sorry cheeks. Who told these fools that it is cool to wear jeans that make walking harder than it was before? And what are they trying to achieve by condemning their crucial parts eternally to a tight situation literally? I think such people should not be reproducing.

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293


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