Insight

In science, we were taught that unlike poles attract and like poles repel. In day to day life, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It is believed that the more two people have in common, they more likely their relationship will blossom.

Relationship experts insist that it is in a person’s best interests to know if they are compatible with someone they hope to share their life with. It is true some people often hide their true selves while dating, only to show a different side after marriage.

It is extremely sensible to find out as much as you can about a person before donning that white gown. Some women are so engrossed with the thought of marriage that waiting a while is simply too much to ask. They will meet a guy today, date for a couple of weeks then summon people for wedding meetings shortly after.

Some people think that commitment is all you need in a relationship. Sure it plays a big role, but there are other factors that need to be put into consideration as well. Personally, I would love if a guy I’m dating shared at least one or two interests of mine.

Hip-hop music is a no go area for me and, quite frankly, I don’t get what people love so much about it. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to date or be married to a die hard hip-hop fan. I know this seems like it is too small to get in the way but trust me, on a day like Sunday when I want some peace of mind, I’d kill myself if he blasted rap songs by the Grave Diggers in the house!

It goes both ways. I don’t think the Grave Diggers ‘listener would be all too pleased if I played Daniel Bedingfield or Phil Collins. Matter of fact, he’d probably be forced to leave the house. I’m not saying he has to love the music I listen to, no. We just need to have an understanding of each other’s preferences. And I’m sorry but for me, there is just no understanding vulgar rap!

Compatibility comes in many ways–intellectual, spiritual, social, financial etc. I understand that when loves hits, even things like religion or race, can’t scare it away. Again, on a personal level, and this is not being biased, there are some religions that simply clash with my own beliefs. Dating or marrying someone who has faith in a religion I didn’t believe in would be a betrayal to my own.

Financial compatibility however is something both parties can work around. Unless a man chooses to sit home all day waiting for me to pay the rent, we won’t have a problem. I respect a man who is hard working and would rather be a janitor than not have a job at all!

Imagine having such a strong love for kids yet every time you are with your man and there are children, he looks like has been put in a room full of poisonous reptiles. That alone would make you fear for the kids you one day want to have with him.

So maybe he can change, or maybe he can’t. Either way, if I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with him, I’d rather give it time to see if he truly can.

Contact email: rachelgaruka[at]yahoo.co.uk