Dear Counselor, My best friend has always been a well behaved student and gets good grades. However, lately she seems to have problems, she rarely comes to class and when she does, she is shabby and disconnected. I tried to talk to her but she told me to leave her alone. I’m worried about her; her performance has gone down significantly and she is always in trouble at school. I worry that she might get suspended but she doesn’t seem to care. How can I help her? Mimi ----- Students’ academic success is largely influenced by the people around them. These include parents, teachers and classmates. One way to help your friend out of this mess is to recognise the problem that is interfering with her studies. Make constant effort to maintain your relationship with her by staying close, and possibly, connecting her to more reliable people so that she doesn’t spend too much time alone. Take time to examine your friend’s strong point and weaknesses and find ways to capitalise on the strengths. Follow how best she learns things and find methods that best utilise the way she studies. This can be developed through specific intensive group discussions and training so that your friend can gain independence, in and out of class. Remember that poor academic performance can be influenced by a number of factors including teachers, parents, individual intelligence levels and motivation. Advise your friend to attend classes regularly and do all the class assignments and tests and meet due dates. Establish strong lines of communication with teachers and other high-achieving classmates to get assistance from different sources in order to boost her understanding of different study concepts, which will ultimately improve her performance. Train your friend to develop habits that will teach her to be an organised student as this will boost her academic performance. Becoming a better student is a process; it won’t happen overnight. While in class, encourage her to sit at the front, take notes and actively get involved in the lesson by asking questions when she does not understand. Studies show that students who sit in the first few rows generally achieve better grades than students who sit at the back. If your friend commits to changing her ways, she will be well on her way to academic success. Advise her to eat well and socialise with people, and encourage her to participate in physical exercise. Inspire her to pursue hobbies or other co-curricular activities as this will boost her performance. If her problems are connected to her parents, approach a teacher or school counsellor and ask them to talk to her parents. Parents normally listen to teachers’ concerns and I am sure both parties will find ways to help her. Their thoughts... Prisca Boniface, Student It’s good that you want to help your friend do better in school, because that’s what good friends do. My advice is that you find time when she is in a good mood to have a friendly chat with her about her behaviour. She will listen to you. Don’t throw accusations; rather, ask her to tell you what’s going on in her life. ----- Charles Washington, Student It’s obvious that your friend is going through a bad situation, and this might sabotage her academic performance. I suggest that you talk to her parents about this issue; this doesn’t make you a bad friend, rather, a caring one. Her parents might talk some sense into her. ----- Abrar Ouzguit, Student Don’t give up on her; it might look like she doesn’t care, but this shouldn’t discourage you from helping her. She needs help, so find out what’s going on in her life. Ask her to study with you, do revision together, she will finally open up and share her troubles with you. ----- Henoc Tenday, Student Don’t let her sink into depression. She needs help, her education depends on it. Talk to a teacher you are free with, and ask for her his/her assistance. A teacher can easily talk to your friend about her studies and guide her accordingly. Do whatever it takes to help her.
