Love starts. Human nature prevails. Love ends. Human nature prevails. You want to get back together. And I am all for reconciliation and forgiveness but not all relationships are supposed to be revived. So if you’re going to back together with someone, make sure you are not doing it for the wrong reasons. For instance, people make the mistake of getting back together because of societal pressure. All your friends and family gang up on you with “You guys were so perfect together. All relationships have problems so you should work it out. I have it worse in my relationship and I haven’t left.” So you decide to go back to a situation that made you miserable and broke you down. Don’t do it. For all the empathy or support or ridicule that you will receive from other people, no one will be able to share your pain and brokenness. Some women get back together with their ex because “he is the father of my children” so they feel that they must bear the burden of keeping their family together. Several studies and firsthand testimonies reveal that children who live with parents who have a hostile relationship are likely to be just as, or even more damaged than children with divorced parents. So you are not doing your children any favours by staying. If you’re staying, know that you’re doing it for yourself. The biggest and worst reason why people get back together is that once they are apart, they start having memories of good times and so they miss the person. And somehow, their brains erase all the good reasons why it didn’t work out. This is a horrible reason because you’re under the illusion that somehow all those problems you had before disappeared on their own while you were apart. You shouldn’t back together with someone unless you’re sure that the reason why you broke up no longer exists. For instance, if you broke up over a particular character trait, you should be ready to put up with it instead of expecting someone to change. People don’t really change. Not at the core anyway. Some women get back together with their ex because they want to regain financial stability. But good relationships are between two people who want to be with each other, as opposed to needing each other. If you are with someone because they are the source of your income or social status then you’re giving them too much power and that’s a very shaky basis for a relationship. They are very likely to abuse their power. Don’t get back together just because you’re still single after a long time. Finding love, the kind that brings about inner peace is really hard. But just because it is hard to find love again doesn’t mean that you have to go back to a person who made you feel unloved or unwanted or who abused you. It’s hard for some people to be alone but it is more freeing than staying in a bad relationship.
